Friday, February 17, 2012

Sister, Sister


Today is my sister’s birthday. She is exactly one year, two months and 11 days younger than me. Although she’s the younger of us two, people either think she is my twin or they think she’s the older sister.  Most people think we look very much alike so, obviously, it’s not because of her looks that people think she’s older. I think we’re equally taken to be at least 10 years younger than we actually are. It’s because of her personality and the way she carries herself that she’s often taken as the elder sibling. Of the two of us, my sister Queen Bee (as she’s affectionately referred to by friends & family), is the bolder, louder, more outspoken one; she’s known as the fighter whereas I’m known as the lover, she will bring the ruckus while I bring the peace, I’m the quiet to her storm, the sugar to her coffee, the treaty to her war.  All of our lives, I have been known as ‘the nice one’ and she, ‘the mean one.’ As you can probably imagine, our differences caused many an argument, debate and sisterly (sometimes, enemy-like) fight. For almost 30 years, my sister and I clashed like cold water on a hot skillet. If she said no, I said yes……if she wanted to go right, I wanted to go left……if she had 2 best friends, well I better have 3 or more….and it went on and on and on and on and on. For years, my sister and I fought about every little thing. I don’t think either of us took the time to really think before we engaged in battle, we just did it because, well, it was what we had always done. 

Until one day, during a particularly heated battle (about what, I cannot recall), our brother-in-law stepped in and shut us down. He basically told us we looked stupid, were saying stupid things and probably didn’t even know why we were really arguing. My sister and I argued, talked and cried for hours that day and we got to the bottom of some deep-rooted issues that each of us had no idea the other carried around. It would still take us a few more years, countless hours and gallons of tears before we reached a point where we could talk to, instead of yell at, each other. We were finally able to build and sustain an actual friendship. Although, if you were on the outside, you would never know we had those problems because, (we were taught) no matter what, we were always there for each other. We shared all of life’s important moments, milestones and special occasions. Despite our wanting to tear each other’s hair out, we dared anyone else to even think about causing harm or posing a threat to our sister. It’s funny because, I remember many times, my sister wanted to beat me to a pulp but if anyone else even breathed the wrong way towards me, my sister was ready to pounce, with no questions asked.  SMH at the memories……..yeah, we’ve come a long way little sis!

I’m happy to say that, while we still have some work to do, the relationship between my sister and I is in good, solid standing. I know she’s got my back, she loves me, she’s happy to be a part of my life and I am happy to have her in mine. So, today, I salute my Lil’ Big Sis on her special day…………………..and I thank God for allowing her to reach another milestone for us to celebrate together.


it’s going down tonight……I hope you’re read-daaayyy!!!