Thursday, February 16, 2012

A Letter to Chris Brown

Dear Chris,
I have been a fan of yours from the first day I saw your tall, lanky frame on my TV screen (Yooooooo, I dont know your name but excuse me miss, I saw you from across the room, And I got to admit that you got my attention, You're making me want to say yooooooo). Not only did your dancing have me captivated but your boyish good lucks and evident charm made me want to know more about this new, cute kid on the block. I’m old enough to be your mother so I wasn’t looking at you as a celebrity crush/love interest.  Well, maybe I was…..but for my daughter. I could tell, from the way you moved and the emotion you conveyed while singing your song, that you were a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Actually, you reminded me of a past, young love of mine who is tall, light-skinned, good-looking and on the ‘goofy’ side….though he has not one ounce of the rhythm in his body that you have in yours.  But, I digress…….. From the day I saw your first video, I knew you were going to be a star. I went out and purchased your CD and I listened to it all of the time. I think I knew all the songs & lyrics before my daughter did. I told all my friends about this new kid who was gonna do big things and I looked forward to watching your great career unfold…..and unfold it did.
For the next few years, you would not disappoint as you came out with hit after hit and wonderfully entertaining videos to go along with.  I never tired of watching your videos or hearing your songs. I began referring to you as my son-in-law and I longed for the day that my daughter (who was an aspiring model, at the time) would make it big, meet you, marry you, give me beautiful grandbabies and live happily ever after (a lady can dream, can’t she????).  Then, you hooked up with Rihanna and in my Scooby-Doo voice, I said, ‘Ruh Roh!’ Immediately, I didn’t think it was a good look.  No offense to you or Rhianna but I thought she was too much for you.  There you were, this innocent-looking, charming, silly young man making a name for himself in the music world and there she was a grown-looking, sexified young woman with much attitude making a name for herself in the music world.  In general, (they say) females mature faster than males so already, she had one up on you (I believed). Then, add the fast life and everything that comes with the kind of lives you both lead, (I imagine) requiring you to ‘grow up’ faster than you normally would have to and that gives her a few more steps ahead of you. Of course, this is all my own assessment of how things were. I wasn’t there and I have no idea how it is to live life in the spotlight so I am speaking strictly from a fan’s (and mother’s) point of view. I thought to myself, ‘this girl is gonna be T.r.o.u.b.l.e for Chris!’  I had no idea how much trouble it would be.
Seeing pictures of you two together and hearing stories about your young romance were bittersweet. It’s always nice to see people in love, especially that young love when everything is ‘innocent’ and brand-new.  At the same time, having been there and done that, it also makes one a bit sad knowing that, most likely, the young love will end on a not-so-good note and somebody (if not both parties) is going to end up hurting like hell. In your case, I always thought it would just be a matter of time before Rhianna would break your heart and leave you howling in the wind of her trail.  Never, in a million years, did I think your relationship with her would end like it did.
Grammy day was supposed to be a glittery affair for R&B's reigning It couple, Chris Brown and Rihanna. But things went horribly amiss.  About the time Brown was scheduled to be singing "Forever" onstage at Los Angeles' Staples Center, he was instead detained by police, being questioned for allegedly roughing up Rihanna, was the report given by one media source.  When I heard this news, I didnt believe it..couldnt believe.wouldnt believe itTheres gotta be more to the story, I thought.What the hell did Rhianna do to my son?!  I know a lot of people, men and women alike, wont like that statement and probably think its very irresponsible (at the very least) of me to say something like that.  Am I crazy, out of my mind, an abused woman myself? No, no and hell no. Not for a second do I think what you were accused of doing is/was okay. Not for a second do I believe that Rhianna deserved it. Not for a second do I believe that your behavior should have been excused. Not for a second do I believe that you didnt deserve to be punished. Not for a second do I believe you are a monster, as Ive heard some people refer to you as. Not for a second do I believe your dream of being a singer/entertainer should be snatched from you forever. Not for a second do I believe you should continue to be questioned about, ridiculed or punished for what happened 3 years ago. Not for a second do I believe you would do it again.
As a woman and mother of a daughter, I know how our species can be. I wasn’t there, in the car with you and Rhianna and you never gave your side of the story (understandably for fear that people would take it as you trying to excuse or justify your behavior) but I have my own ideas about what I think happened. However it got started, I believe you both were pushed to the brink of your emotions and one thing led to another and unfortunately, things got out of control. You put your hands on Rhianna. You’re a big, strong young man so I’m sure you knew you could overpower her, beat her, if you wanted to. I don’t know why you didn’t (or couldn’t?) just restrain her to keep her from hitting you or doing whatever it was that she was doing to you. Why you didn’t just walk, or drive, away from her instead of smacking, punching or biting her is beyond my understanding. But, the point is, you didn’t walk away. You didn’t just restrain. You hit her. You were dead wrong. You were dead wrong and you knew your were, but I don’t think you thought she would call in the dogs on you. But she did….and you paid for what you did to her, big time…..and rightfully so.
It hurt me to hear everyone dog you out, on radio, TV, online. I felt like people were really talking about my son. I wanted to reach out to your mother, speak out for your mother and I wanted to pop you upside your damn head! I was so mad at you, Chris. Why, why, why, why, whyyyyyy did he do that, I wondered. But, the damage was done and the why really didn’t matter. In fact, there was no room for ‘why’ because there was no excuse for it…..period.  So you had to pay and boyyyy, did you pay! I felt so bad for you Chris but I knew this was a lesson you had to learn the hard way.  You had to be taught that violence, especially violence against women, will not (and should not) be tolerated. You had to learn to deal with your emotions in a less damaging, more productive way….more mature way. You had to realize that, as quickly as people can build you up, they can tear ya down. Chris, you had to learn to ‘man up.’  Your image was tainted, reputation ruined, pocket tapped, career frozen and your love was lost.  I was worried that you had been (Jah)Ruled out and wouldn’t be allowed to come back. I prayed that you would be…..and you were.
You came back on the scene and you came back like you meant business.  However, not everybody welcomed you back with open arms. Still today, three years after the crime and the consequence, some people don’t want to let you live (it down). Which is why I am writing this letter to you today. After your Grammy win and performance (which I loved, by the way), people were outraged that a ‘man who beat the sh*t out of a woman is celebrated.’ I got so upset after reading one bloggers post that tears sprang to my eyes. I was ready to fight! As a fan and as a mother, I just want people to let you live. I agree, you done wrong. But you paid your debt to society, in more ways than one and now it’s time for people to leave the past in the past. I do realize, though, that there will always be people who ‘hate Chris’ and I will likely have to continue to defend you against those who speak ill about you in my presence. However, despite the cold or lukewarm reception you receive by some, (in addition to me and my cougar friends….haha) you still have millions of die-hard fans who love you and want you to stay in the game. We need you to keep making good music, entertaining us with your great dance moves and gracing us with your good-looking presence.  But, most of all, Chris Brown, we need you to grow up. We need you to stop feeding into the negativity some people just seem bent on spewing your way. I know it’s easier said than done, but we need you to stop stooping to their level by sending out angry tweets and arrogant commentary.  Don’t give the negators (neh-guh-tors - yeah, I made that word up) satisfaction by reacting to their ugliness with ugliness. We need you to keep your head up and your ego down. The best way to honor yourself, your mother and the fans who have been loyal to you is to remain humble, keep giving us good music and do what the naysayers think you can’t do - sustain a successful, respectable career, non-violent lifestyle and eventually, a healthy, loving relationship with a woman (whenever that time comes). I know you can do it, Chris. Just keep your eyes on the prize and you will continue to win. In this case, winning IS everything! I will continue to pray for you. Keep on keeping on and, CBreezy, please don’t let me/us down.
Sincerely and with love,
BFly, a fan who cares