Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Is There An Easy Way Out?

By now, we all know there is no 'magic pill' nor quick permanent solution to losing weight.  You must expend more calories than you take in.....period.  You must eat less, move more. But lately, I've been in a funk and feeling like I just can't do it on my own.  So I started thinking about surgery.  I know I'd never do gastric bypass but the 'lesser evil,' Lap-Band surgery, I would consider.....have considered.....considering right now.  One part of me is saying, 'NO, YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT SURGERY!' while the other part is saying, 'OH YEAH???  WELL, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE IT YET...HUH, HUH?  

I've looked at the pros and cons and I'm not afraid of getting the surgery. I know what the possible & probable side effects are and they don't 'scare' me much.  What has held me back from doing it is my own ego & pride.  If I do it, then people will say/think I took the 'easy way out.'  I know I shouldn't care about others' thoughts & opinions but the competitor in me wants the 'trophy' and recognition from doing it without surgery.  I mean, lots of people have done it.  There are many who can boast how they ate & exercised their way to a body that is 100, 200, 300, 400 lbs lighter, WITHOUT SURGERY. 

I really wanna be one of those people and I know I can be. But what's the use of knowing but not doing.....knowing and not being?  I've been in this fight for almost 20 years and over time, I've gotten farther and father away from my goal....from the win.  Now, time is truly of the essence.  The stakes are higher for me now that I am dealing with the early stages of diabetes.  Yes,  my weight has finally caught up with me in a way that I cannot avoid.  I no longer have the 'luxury of time' being on my side.  I must do something about my weight OR ELSE.  

It makes me sad to admit that I haven't changed my habits much since my diagnosis.  Which brings me to my current state of mind.....to be a surgery candidate or not to be.  Deciding to have the surgery just might be more of a necessity than a personal choice....so I have to ask myself, what is more important.....my body/health or other people's opinions?