Wednesday, January 27, 2016


DEAR  MOMMY: A letter from the womb
c.  Sameialika Tarver October 25, 2006

To keep or not to keep
you ponder every day
You wonder if it's meant to be
for you and me to stay

Together, connected by body
Together, connected by blood
Together, connected by my father
Together, connected by love

You think about the pain
you imagine I will bring
You know your life won't be the same
If you take a chance on this beautiful thing
Your life will be turned upside down
Adjustments, you'll have to make
The experience of birth won't be much fun
yet, it will be worth you seeing my face

The memories of your labor pains
will soon fade away
The memories you and I will make
caould never be erased

Yes, your pockets may run low
your me-time and patience, too
But, just imagine how you'll feel
when I look at you
When I snuggle against your skin
and grip your hand in mine
Imagine the joy that will fill your heart
when I say 'Mommy' for the first time

I look forward to meeting you,
my Daddy, Grandma, Grandpa, too
To smell your scent, to hear your voice
I know that you will make the right choice

Choose Me, Mom
Choose Us
Choose Me, Mom
Choose Love

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Poetry: TIME

As I head to the Queen City to celebrate my sister's 40th birthday, I want to remind people to take the time (to make a phone call, send a text, a card, a letter, visit, meet up with, reach out) to make connections with the people who are important to you. Yes, we all have to take care of ourselves, our families, go to work, pay the bills and do all of the required work of a grown up. However, we have to make our personal relationships a priority in our lives, as well. Too often, we take our friends, our loved ones, our lives for granted. It can't be said too many times that we need to stop and smell the roses, strike some poses and show those we care about just how much we like them, love them, want and need them around. We must cherish the moments we have with them now, because when they are gone, they are gone forever........and as we've all learned, tomorrow is promised to no one.


Time flies, they say
When you're having fun
to the rising of the moon
from the dawning of the sun

Time crawls, it seems
when the skies are gray
when you long for someone
to take the pain away

Time waits for no soul
for the seconds, they fly
the minutes speed walk
while the hours run wild

Time on my hands
is what I have without you
is what I wish I had more of
when the times are few
far and in between
the Then and the Now
My heart bursts at the seams
when I think about how
much time I've wasted
worrying about nothing
bitching and complaining
just trying to find something

A reason
that you were not perfect, As Is
how much wrong you had done
Now those things don't mean shit

Time flies, they say
and I know that is true
Oh how I wish I had more time
to spend
with you

c. Sameialika Tarver, March 25, 2007

Sunday, January 3, 2016


For my first post of 2016, I thought about reflecting on the struggles endured and overcome, obstacles encountered and surpassed, unfortunate circumstances I found myself in, unnecessary drama I removed myself from, love found, lost and unrequited, time spent, stolen and wasted, memories made to be forgotten or cherished forever, dreams developed and deferred and life refreshed, recharged and redirected. But why look backwards when I have so much to look forward to? I have a lot to be thankful for, grateful for and proud of. Though I won't detail every little thing, good or bad, that I experienced in 2015, I would be remiss if I didn't touch on a few VIPs (very important points) that had a significant impact on my life. 

I'm on my own. For the first time ever, I reside with my self: no children, no significant other, no relative, no friend, no roommate. Just me, myself and I. Upon signing my lease and finalizing all paperwork associated with my move, I realized it would be the first time I would live in a residence alone. At various points in my life, I lived with my parents, daughter, granddaughter, significant other, siblings, friends and grandparent. The only time I lived by myself was in college, when I had a single room for a year and a half. When I announced that I would finally be moving into my place by myself, some people speculated that I'd be lonely (and miserable, they wanted to add). They predicted I would miss having other people around regularly and that I'd probably spend a lot of nights staying with relatives and friends. I predicted I would feel free, comfortable and at peace. True, I did love having my mother right there to do all the motherly things she loves to do. I enjoyed seeing my grandmother every day, happy that, after more than 92 years, she is still here with us. I even found comfort (along with my annoyance) in having our beloved family dog, Prycee (a beautiful, loving and sometimes too playful, pit bull) in our midst. But, I longed for the peace and tranquility I knew would come with living on my own. Although it's only been a couple months, I feel the best I've ever felt. I'm enjoying the process of shaping my space into one that is cozy & inviting, adding style & flair and making it into a home.

I realized a dream. Over 10 years ago, my soul spoke to me and said, 'You need to run a group for children where they can learn important lessons, consume a hearty meal and feel love.' I contemplated whether it should be an after school program, a summer program, a weekend-only program or.....?' I finally came up with the idea of a breakfast club. I thought about how every health, my Auntie Oprah....says breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I figured in the fact that breakfast foods and supplies are pretty affordable, flexible and appealing. I decided, in spite of the fact I am not a morning person nor do I particularly enjoy cooking, running a breakfast club would be a sure bet. It would allow me to flex my creative skills, build my culinary repertoire and give me a good reason to get my rump out of bed early in the morning. As fate would have it, a conversation with my stepmother about love (and the changes I been going through....) morphed into a discussion about our personal hopes and dreams. We both expressed a desire to run a group such as the breakfast club and, thus, a dream was set in motion. We took the necessary steps to make it legal and official then we stepped out on faith. Although it didn't quite materialize the way I envisioned it, The Breakfast Club came to fruition this past summer. We served nearly 100 breakfasts over several Saturdays. The kids who participated (and their parents) seemed to be very satisfied and thankful that our service was available. I'm looking forward to continuing and expanding this mission.

I met a guy. Well, I didn't actually just meet him. I've known him since middle school and had been 'friends' with him on social media for several years. We didn't have much contact during that time but, one day last March, he decided to reach out to me.  My first reaction, when I saw the notification I had a message from him, was, 'What the flimflamflum does he want with me?!' I automatically thought, 'Oh, here we go.....another guy trying to score from his inbox!' But, I was dead wrong and pleasantly surprised. Our initial conversation was the typical, 'How are you? What have you been up to? Why are you still single' question and answer session. We exchanged phone numbers and communicated via text for a couple weeks. After we began talking on the phone, it was like we were teenagers. Our conversations lasted for hours at a time and we talked about everything. I had never been so candid with a guy before or had one be so candid (and, dare I say, vulnerable) with me. We both admitted to feeling a 'connection;' like we had been friends forever. Due to his job, we didn't see each other in person for a couple months. By that time, we had experienced a few communicative breakdowns, mishaps,  miscommunication and disagreements. So, our first meeting started out a bit awkward and lukewarm. It was obvious we still liked each other and the attraction was still there. Yet, the connection seemed to have weakened. Nevertheless, the chemistry still crackled and we did share a few passionate moments, in a NC-17 kind of way. Since then, we have remained in contact with each other and our friendship has blossomed, albeit still not in full bloom. The ebb and flow of our relationship is sometimes frustrating, and even infuriating but, overall, it has been inspiring, motivating and alluring. I don't know what the future holds for me and him but, if our friendship ended today, I could honestly say, I'm a better woman because of it.

All of that being said, the year 2015 has been quite good to me. I ended that year with an honest assessment that I had absolutely nothing to complain about. Sure, I had trials and tribulations but none that overtook my mind, my senses or my health. I feel good, I look good and I am proud of who I am. So, this year, I plan to continue progressing as a woman, developing as a leader/teacher, learning how to be a better businesswoman, practicing being a helpmate/soulmate/partner, loving my self, cultivating my spirit, sharing my heart and being the best me I can be. I do declare 2016 as "The Year Of Me!"