My ego wants me to hate you but it's me that I despise...
for allowing you to seduce me with your well rehearsed lines of overused lies....
With that fire in your eyes, you ignited a spark that had me longing for things we could do in the dark....
The brightness of your smile blinded me to a truth that is so ugly
your lips that I kissed told fibs about how much you really loved me.....
The way you held me in your arms gave a comfort I needed
so when I saw the first warning sign, I refused to heed it....
In that moment, when the bold truth burst thru the door, I didn't want to face the you I knew I wouldn't want any more..
No matter how much my heart wanted you to be the one for me, my mind could not decry or deny the cold reality....
The disappointment in knowing I was wrong....again
The frustration of having to start all over.... again
The humiliation of having to face my family and friends....
But truth is, I am human and though it's love that I want, I refuse to be fueled by desperation
I need a truth I can flaunt
I refuse to be led on by good looks or charm, I need arm candy of loyalty
only a king of honesty is fit for my royalty
I will not allow a foolish man to swindle me out of my heart in return for sweet nothings given out in the dark...
I won't be driven crazy by drama created by desperate exes and lonely baby mamas...
I need a love that is mature, healthy and true
and though I hate to admit it, that love is not you.....
So, onward I go, with another lesson learned
and though my feelings have been burned, my heart is still intact
and...
I will survive.
copyright 2013 by Sameialika Tarver
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