Friday, February 28, 2014


Poetry and music....perfect combination to end the month long celebration of love......enjoy!


The man who makes you sing a song
while holding you in his arms
is the man you want all night long
He is the Music Man

The man who evokes that melody
those notes that form the symphony
while you enjoy his company
He is The Music Man

The man who takes you high and low
as the beat gets fast then comes back slow
makes you forget the words you used to know
He is the Music Man

The man who turns the volume down
so the room is filled with just your sound
can smooth it out when the bass gets tough
then turns it off when you've had enough
He is The Music Man

by Sameialika Tarver, July 2007

My girl Jill Scott explains it perfectly in this song.........

Sunday, February 16, 2014


MUSTAFA MCWHORTER. A name I will never forget. A face I will always remember. A voice I will hear in my head for the rest of my days. A life taken way too soon. A person I never knew but his memory I will behold forever.

Mustafa McWhorter was a young man whose tragic story was featured on one of my favorite television shows, A&E's The First 48. I've been a fan of this show since it started and thought I had seen every episode to date. When the episode featuring Mustafa McWhorter began, I immediately knew I hadn't seen it before; and I had no idea it would turn out to be especially and unexpectedly heartbreaking. Mustafa McWhorter was born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio. He was the youngest of eight and grew up in a close-knit family. He was very much  loved by his parents, siblings, relatives and friends. Although Mustafa was loved and treated well by most, he was a victim of bullying. He was picked on and tormented by some of his peers, causing his family concern for his safety and well-being. In spite of the bullying, Mustafa grew to be a confident, outgoing young man who lived life with a positive attitude. He had many good friends with whom he enjoyed spending time....and making music. Mustafa was a member of a local rap group, called the Band Boys. The Band Boys wrote songs, performed their lyrics and made videos that they shared on social media. They had quite a following yet, not every one was a fan. As we've witnessed with major rap artists, the Band Boys became part of an unfortunate rivalry that sometimes happens in the hip hop culture. They were at odds with other local rap groups; odds that, unfortunately, led to violence. Mustafa, in particular, was a target and victim.

He grew up in a neighborhood plagued by the many ills that too many of America's neighborhoods face; poverty, drugs, decay, sickness, violence and death. Mustafa knew firsthand what it was like to live, love and lose in an environment filled with darkness and despair. But, like a rose growing from concrete, Mustafa stood out as a ray of hope amongst the hopelessness. Not only was he a popular and well-liked young man, Mustafa was also attractive and outspoken. He voiced his opinion about his generation and their lack of morals and respect, and their fascination with inappropriate or deviant behavior. He spoke about the need for his peers to be more loving and less violent towards each other. Mustafa hoped that, one day, the kids in his community could grow up without being affected by, witness to or victim of violence. All of which he had been.

Directly and indirectly, Mustafa dealt with the aftermath of death in his community. On this particular night, I was watching the story of Mustafa McWhorter, but on a previous epsiode of The First 48, I watched the story of a 14 year old girl who was shot to death on the night of her birthday party. That little girl was Lataevia Williams, who was also Mustafa's friend. Lataevia's death inspired Mustafa to fight harder for 'more love and less violence' in his community. His mission of non-violence continued. Apparently, his outspokenness coupled with his affiliation with The Band Boys, rubbed others the wrong way. So much so that Mustafa became a victim of extreme violence. He was first assaulted on May 13, 2012, by a young man who confronted Mustafa over a 'Facebook beef.' This young man not only wanted to fight Mustafa, he wanted to 'slam him to sleep.' During the fight, Mustafa was slammed several times, causing his head to hit the concrete which eventually knocked him unconscious. After Mustafa was down and out, the assailant proceeded to punch and kick him about the head and face. This incident happened in front of a crowd of people, including at least two adults. No one tried to stop the attack or help Mustafa. Not only did the crowd watch this assault take place but someone actually recorded it with their cell phone. After he was knocked out and bloodied, the two adults finally stepped in, picked Mustafa up off of the ground and pulled him out of harm's way. Mustafa was taken to a hospital where it was found that he had severe head injuries, lacerations and a broken nose. Shortly after being viciously attacked, Mustafa recovered from his injuries and his spirit was not broken, as evidenced in this news interview (which, I must warn you, contains parts of the graphic recording of Mustafa's beating). Eventually, the person responsible for this attack was arrested and, I believe, is now serving prison time for his actions.

Fast forward to May 2013 and, Mustafa is assaulted again, according to the story told by The First 48. I found no evidence of recordings, incident reports, news coverage or arrests in connection to that incident. Just a few weeks later, on May 28, Mustafa was, again, confronted and challenged to a fight at the local library, where he was shot and killed. This incident was also caught on video, from a camera located at a business near the library, and led to the arrests of the two young men responsible. As I watched this episode of The First 48, in the moment Mustafa's mother was informed of her child's death, my heart broke.

There have been many times that I've been saddened, angered and upset by what I've seen on this show, but this episode affected me like never before. As a person who has felt the pain of loss through the death of a loved one, I could empathize. But as a mother who has never suffered the loss of a child (thank God), I can't relate. To have that loss exacerbated by the facts that your child was victimized and terrorized prior to death and their death be a result of extreme violence, I cannot imagine that pain. Somehow, I kept my composure while watching the story unfold. But, as soon as the credits rolled, I was overcome by emotion. I cried uncontrollably and my heart literally ached for this young man, his mother and his family. When I went to bed that night, I could not get Mustafa off of my mind. I tossed and turned for a while then, finally got up and turned my computer on. I wanted to know more about this young man known as Mustafa McWhorter. I searched his name on Google and links to the video of the fight popped up. I had only seen the parts of the fight that were shown in the news story which was more than enough for me. But, I tried to convince myself to watch the video in its entirety. I thought, if he could endure it and still smile & be happy, surely I can watch it and be okay. But, I just. could. not. do. it.

I then found a Facebook page, made in his memory, where I saw many pictures of Mustafa. Pictures of him smiling, laughing and seemingly, enjoying his young life. Many people posted on this page, to express their condolences and feelings after watching The First 48 episode. It felt good to know that I wasn't alone or being ultra-sensitive in my reaction. In my search, I also came across an audio recording of  Mustafa speaking about the violent and deviant behavior of his peers. After watching the news interview and listening to the audio recording, I understood why I felt the way I did. Mustafa McWhorter was not only a good kid who did nothing to deserve what happened to him, he was a beautiful, gentle soul. Although I never knew him, after learning about his story, I felt like he was a part of my family. His personality, sense of style and unbreakable spirit reminds me of some young men in my bloodline. He could have easily been my little brother, nephew, cousin or son....and I cried for him as if he were. Although Mustafa's life was terribly affected by violence, he remained a positive person. I'm sure his life and death has inspired those who knew him to make different choices and live better lives. Not only did he serve as a good role model for his peers but Mustafa was also a refreshing example of human kind. He's a source of inspiration for the familiar and strangers alike. Strangers like me. I pray it brings some comfort to his family to know that Mustafa McWhorter, the young man they raised, nurtured and loved for 17 years, is a hero of mine.

May his beautiful soul rest in eternal peace......

Friday, February 14, 2014


God's Gift

I am God's gift
to this bountiful earth
Prepared for the one
who recognizes my worth
The one who will see
he needs no one but me
For it is I who satisfies
his every need

I am God's gift
to this wonderful life
and one day, I will make
a most beautiful wife
For my king
who will know, from one look
in my eyes
It is me
he has waited for all of his life
the queen for his kingdom
the one he has yearned for
the one all of those hard lessons
he learned for

I am God's gift
for the only one who sees
that I was put on this earth
for him to cherish me
for me to cherish he
for us to become a we
As I am unto him
He will be unto me....
God's Gift

c. Sameialika Tarver, March 2007

Monday, February 10, 2014

Singles Awareness Day: UPDATE

Singles Awareness Day is another name for Valentine’s Day. The day when single people are made painfully (hence the acronym, s.a.d) aware of just how single they are(as if they weren't on any other day)I heard, then wrote, about this alternative name & my perspective on it, two years ago. At that time, I was single so, I wrote about celebrating Valentine's Day aka Singles Awareness Day, without romantic love. Two years later, I am still single and my perspective remains the same. 

I still believe that spending quality time with yourself, a cherished relative or friend or even a group of people you may not know (singles event, for example) can be an enjoyable way to celebrate Valentine's Day. I would love to be the woman whose man goes out of his way for, on Valentine's Day (or any other day), but I will not let the absence of a romantic partner ruin my day. There will be no hate shown nor shade thrown on those around me, who will be celebrating with and celebrated by a significant other on Valentine's Day. In fact, I'm looking forward to spreading a little love myself...... 

Friday, February 7, 2014

BFly's Ode to Black Men

Since February is unoffficially/officially (depending on who you ask) the month to celebrate Black History and the mystery called Love, I'm gonna SET IT OFF with this...

BFly's Ode to Black Men

The mystery and history of thee Beautiful Black Man
is what keeps him hot as fire
he's the subject of many roundtables
the object of many desires

His walk is sexy & unique
individually perfected
specifically tweaked
the tone of his voice and the twinkle in his eye
is what captures my attention
keeps me attuned to my guy

I love the way he smirks when he's on top of his game
and the way his ears perk up when I call his name
his love for his kids is beautiful to see
what's more beautiful is when he's standing beside me
being inside me, loving all sides of me
knowing and believing without me there's no he

The mystery and history of my beautiful Black Man
is that NO ONE on earth can do it like he can

HIStory has shown that his strength is incredible
with spirit unleashed, determination is incomparable
possibilities are endless despite any obstacles
what he puts his mind to my man can attain
despite the color of his skin, the letters in his name

What I love, most of all, is the status he brings
for he's not just a black man
he is a King
I love, I admire and sometimes I can't stand 
but I'd rather live with 
than without
my Black Man

Sameialika Tarver 2012

Saturday, February 1, 2014


There are many ideas, definitions and misconceptions about that four-letter word, L O V E. It has been uttered (to and by me) in pure deception, more times than I care to remember. It took damn near all my life a while but I finally figured out what love means to me. In a sentence, I believe.....

Love is the emotion that inspires you to improve the quality of another person's life, moment by moment...... 

By this, I'm not (just) referring to extraordinary acts of romance, over the top gestures or luxurious gifts. The small things matter just as much as (if not more than) the big things. Pay attention to her habits, listen closely when she speaks of her wants, needs & desires (sometimes she hints, sometimes she says it straight up), ask about his favorite foods, movies, sports teams, etc, surprise him with a romantic, 5-course, home-cooked meal (or just some wings & beer for him and the fellas). Give each other compliments, back rubs, encouragement. Inquire if you can be of assistance in any way; and when you know your man/woman is struggling or feeling overwhelmed with something, take the initiative to resolve the issue (if it is within your power to do so). Expose them to something from your world that may be new to them, divulge secrets and share your dreams, randomly call or text, to say something nice, uplifting, enticing, sexy. Spend time with them doing things they like that you don't necessarily indulge or enjoy (go see that chick flick, car show, basketball game or play). Be honest, open, kind, considerate, compassionate, thoughtful, fun, funny, inspiring, encouraging, uplifting. Do things that make the other person feel blessed, happy and thankful that you are a part of their life.

Though it is nice to receive cards & gifts, LOVE is more about actions/behavior. Hearing those three little words can be like sweet music to my ears, but I prefer that you SHOW ME you love me more than you tell me.

What is your definition of L O V E ?