Friday, February 25, 2011


As I’ve mentioned before, I am often mistaken to be much (at least, 12-15 years) younger than my calendar age of 38 years, 2 months & 19 days.  I attribute it to my ‘baby face,’ soft voice and short height.  It’s funny though because, ever since I was a young girl, my close friends and family have teased me for ‘acting like an old lady.’  I’m often looked at as the mother figure, partly because I’m almost always the eldest (and most mature) one out of the crew and, admittedly, I’m bossy as hell….lol  When I’m with my sisters and friends, I feel like the ‘mother hen’ and behave like one, too (after all, SOMEbody has to keep order don’t they??).  So, it makes me feel good when people are shocked to learn that (a) I’m 38 years old, (b) I’m a mother of a 20 year old and, as of 1/10/11, (c) I’m a GRANDmother.  However, the reality is, my physical appearance is not in sync with the state of my physical health.

According to ‘THE REAL AGE TEST,’ which is a series of questions compiled by doctors and other health professionals, that measure how old your body ‘thinks’ you are, according to your health and self-care, I am 43.3 years old…..WTH?!  I’ve taken this kind of test, at least, 5 times in the last 10 years and every time, my ‘real age’ has been older than my calendar age.  I wish I could remember what the differences were, specifically, so I would have an idea of whether or not I’m closing the gap.  Overall, I feel better than I have in years past so hopefully, I am getting better.  In any case, today, my real age is 5 years older than my calendar age and I must swing that pendulum the other way so that my real age falls somewhere between 27-35…..which means I have work to do!   J

Take the test and find out, then
I dare you to come back and share your results!

Thursday, February 24, 2011


It’s funny that I’m the one my loved ones come to when they want something ‘done right.’  They always compliment me on my creativity, organizational skills, determination, vast knowledge and generally pleasant disposition (well, that last one is up for debate…  HOWEVER, when it comes time for me to do something….anything….for myself, I half-step.  If you come to my house, you can see that I have a good eye for decorating.  I have a few nice pieces in every room in the house but very little effort has been put forth to complete the ensemble .  The vehicle that I drive is decent, but there’s always ‘stuff’ in it so that one has rarely seen it at its prettiest.  Not to mention, I bought it with a clearly flawed interior, knowing I should’ve & could’ve gotten a much better deal for my money (but that’s another story).  I get a lot of compliments on my fashion sense, yet I only ‘put on’ for ‘special occasions.’  I have nice things in my closet, but in general, I think my wardrobe kinda sucks.  It’s not because I can’t afford a better one, it’s because I don’t make it a priority to go out and get things I really want.  What does all this have to do with losing weight, you may be wondering?  Well, I’m approaching this weight-loss journey the same way I’ve approached most every other journey in my life that was for my own benefit……HALF-ASSED.
Altho, this week, I’ve done okay food-wise, I haven’t been to the gym since Friday.  Sure, I can convince myself that I have good reason (I was stressed, depressed, sleep-deprived) but the bottom line is, there is no excuse.  I didn’t go because I didn’t think it was that important (obviously).  I still have to remind/reassure myself that I am worth the effort.  I’m still questioning whether or not this time is gonna be the last time (aka permanently successful)?  I am still talking myself out of the good things in life.  I Am Still Listening To The Negative (excuse-making) Voice In My Head!   THIS. HAS. GOT. TO. STOP.  In order to cut this ass in half, I have to stop half-assing my efforts….PRAY FOR ME!

Saturday, February 19, 2011


First of all, let me say, I forgave myself for Thursday's behavior. I knew that would happen because I haven't reached the 'Planning Ahead' stage. But, I will get there.....soon. In spite of that, I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!

I got home from work on yesterday and the excuse-making began, almost immediately. 'I'm too tired to go today,' I said to myself....'I'll make it up tomorrow.......I'll do a routine from TV later.' But, deep inside, I knew, if I didn't make it to the gym that evening, as scheduled, it would be the beginning of the end for me. So, until the minute I walked out of the door, my Old (excuse-making) Self battled with my New (determined-to-do-it-this-time) Self.....and I'm so glad the New Me won! I made it to the gym and started off on the treadmill, as I usually do. In my very first treadmill workout, my trainer wanted me to start walking at 2.2 miles per hour but I felt I could do more so I increased it to 2.5. The next two times, I walked at 2.7 mph. Last night, I started off at 2.7 but for the last 16 minutes, I walked at 3.0.....GO ME! After the treadmill, we went straight into weight training, where I felt not only my muscles building but my confidence too. When we got to the end of our workout, where we work strictly on Abs, Mr. Trainer decided we would do butterfly kicks AND '6 inches.' I was like, 'Whoa Mister!' I didn't complain too loudly but I did let him know I thought he was trippin. However, to my surprise, I got through each exercise....without having to stop during the set and with minimal 'shaking.' I couldn't believe it.

I felt so good about my workout and for making it to the gym when I really wanted to stay home and nap. I didn't want to mess up whatever progress I made so I decided not to hang out and spoil it with liquor and food. I spent Friday night at home and got a good night's sleep. I woke up this morning, feeling rested and refreshed. It's only the second week in and I'm already stronger. That is enough to keep me going........(shout out to self) GO GIRL!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Cellllllllllebration Time, COME ON!

Okay, so yesterday was my sister's birthday and needless to say, everything I did went against my weight loss efforts. Dinner at an italian restaurant, where I ate chicken parmigiana with spaghetti noodles & tomato sauce, had a 24 oz Cabernet Cosmo, then to her house where I had more drinks (orange grey goose with lemon-lime soda) which led to being on the verge of intoxicated which, of course, led to another meal....late night pickup from McDonald's....UGGGHHHH!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Making Progress......

I almost asked my trainer if he had been reading my blog because he stepped it up a bit in my last three sessions. Last Friday, he increased the weight on each weight-training machine and I handled it, for the most part. I struggled a bit when we worked on biceps & triceps but I got through it. The toughest part came at the end of our workout, when he had me doing 'butterfly kicks'. This is where you lie flat on your back and hold your legs a couple inches up from the floor and make small kicking movements with your feet....for 30 seconds straight. I thought my legs were gonna fall off. I got through the first 30 seconds...barely....but only lasted a good 15-20 seconds in the second set. Then yesterday, we did an exercise called '6 inches,' where you lie flat on your back, legs extended and you lift both legs at the same time and hold for 30 seconds. OMG! My legs shook like leaves on a windy, Fall day and I thought of my granddaughter, telling myself her life depended on if I made it through or not. Of course, I made it. One day, I thought to myself, I'll get through these like I've been doing them all my life....

Monday, February 14, 2011


Okay, so this weekend, I fell off track.....

I went out on Friday night to celebrate my cousin's birthday.....had some lemon-pepper wings (only 5...and I did have carrots & celery too) w/a smidgeon of bleu cheese and 3 (7-9 oz) Southern Sex On The Beach cocktails (southern comfort, vodka, orange & cranberry juices). I was home 1am and asleep before 2:30 am.....but missed my 11am workout w/trainer on Saturday. Because I didn't work out that day, I decided to stay in Saturday night to avoid drinking a bunch of alcohol and eating a bunch of food. However, I did have 2 slices of cheese pizza for late dinner on Saturday night. I also had garden salad with no dressing and, I must say, it was pretty tasty. I did end up pouring myself one cocktail and drank about 24 oz of Pepsi during the night.

Yesterday, I was bad bad baaaaaaad! I went to Cracker Barrel with a friend for brunch to celebrate her birthday and had 2 pancakes w/butter & syrup, 3 slices of bacon, hashbrown casserole (app 1 cup) and a tall glass of cranberry/orange juice. Then, last night, I went to my sister's house and had fried chicken (6 wing dings), mashed potatoes & mixed vegetables ( about 1/2 cup each) for dinner. Also, I drank 3-4 glasses of Red Alize (6 oz each).

Today, I am getting back on track. I worked out for an hour, doing 2 dance routines via Exercise On Demand and I've only had water so far. I do plan to have a lil treat some time today but I will be fully on point tomorrow. I would say, for the rest of the week, but I know I have to take this thing one day at a time........


Friday, February 11, 2011

Grown 'n Sexy.....

Well, I did get that massage last night so my back feels much better. However, it was preceded by 2 cute mugs (app 24 oz total) of beer. 'Babe' & I had dinner together and since I did pretty good with my meal (Boston Market healthy choice - 440 calories total: quarter white meat /no skin, mixed garden veggies and red potatoes plain w/Glaceau Vitamin Zero XXX Water), I figured I could join him in having some beer. Drinking the beer didn't do major damage, but having it, in addition to eating more calories than I planned to in the past few days means I have to work extra hard at tonight’s workout session, especially if I plan to meet my goals as scheduled.

As I stated before, I’m on a 12 week work out plan, with goals set at 3-week intervals:

Current – 240 lbs (size 20), working out 3x/week with personal trainer

3 wks (March 5) – 225-230 lbs (size ??), add one aerobic activity to w/o schedule (dance, swim, etc.)

6wks (March 26) – 215 - 220lbs, (size ??), add one personal gym day to w/o schedule

9wks (April 16) - 200-205lbs, (size ??), add one mind/body activity (Yoga, pilates, etc.)

12wks (May 7) - 190-195 lbs, (size ??), add one personal gym day to w/o schedule

*Sizes may vary, according to weight AND inches lost

My ultimate goal is to reach 140-150 lbs (size ??). I know, at that weight, I’d still be considered to be ‘overweight,’ according to ‘official weight charts,’ but, that is where I think I’d be most comfortable. My frame is small (standing at just 5’1”) and I am considered to be a ‘petite person,’ but I do not want to be skinny. I’ve always had meat on my bones and curves on my body, even at my smallest size & weight. I like that look (for me). To be any smaller than 140 lbs would make me look child-like, and dare I say, sickly. I’m already mistaken to be in my early 20s and though it does feel good to be thought of as younger, I don’t like being viewed and treated as such. Therefore, I must maintain my grown along with my sexy.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Some Sweat, No Tears........

Last night was the first night of my 12-week training program at my local YMCA. My trainer is a cute, young guy who I'll call 'CK.' At our initial meeting, CK seemed to be a lil nervous and wet behind the ears. I could tell he was new to the personal training arena so I did ask him how long has he been at it. He said he's been doing it for just about 6 months and is currently in school for a career in the medical field. He was smart enough to include in our conversation, the fact that 'one woman I train has lost 20 lbs in 7 weeks'. He also let me know that my success was more on me than on him by telling me that there are other classes/trainers available on the days I don't meet with him. So, to optimize my results, I might want to consider doing more than what he will require of me. We'll see about that, young man.

So, I was about 10 minutes late to our training session but I got right down to business when I got there. I started off with the treadmill, which seemed to be too easy at first. I increased my speed three times (only to have to scale back the last and finally began to break a sweat. By the end of the 33 minutes, I had walked a little over a mile, which isn't too shabby for someone who comes nowhere close to the recommended 10, 000 steps per day. After the treadmill, I did circuit strength training for 45 minutes, targeting every area on my body. I felt pretty good when I was done, which was actually cause for a pause. Why am I NOT sore, I wondered? After a few hours, I did begin to feel a dull ache in my thighs and biceps so I figured I'd surely be in great pain on the wakeup. However, when I got out of bed this morning, my body was not as sore as I thought it would be. I thought my muscles would be stiff as boards and I'd be on the verge of tears from the pain. But, not so. I've been feeling mild pain in all the targeted muscles and a moderate burn in my back (which I hope a massage from the honey will take care of tonight) but I have been getting around just fine. It makes me wonder if CK is going a little too easy on me or if Ms. KIA (KnowItAll) just needs to relax and let the man do his job. I guess, time will tell.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Beginning Of The End.......

For a long time, (I know) my friends & family have wanted me to lose weight. I'm sure some of them have prayed, on many occasions, to the 'fat-blasting gods' to come and take this fat away. I can tell, by some of the looks I get and, the looks I don't get, that they wish I would take this fat suit off already. But no one has wanted it more than I have. 'You didn't REALLY want it,' is probably what you're saying inside your head. But, really, I did...and I do. For anyone who has had to lose more than 20 lbs., let alone my goal of 100, they know losing weight is just as much, if not more than, a mental battle as it is a physical fight. Physically, I know what to do and I am very capable of doing it. Once I get moving, it's on. Mentally, however, it has been a constant struggle. The main thing I've learned in my 17 plus years of battling the bulge is that I can't do this for anyone else and a quick-fix ain't the way. Dropping the pounds to gain the love, adoration, attraction, attention and affection from a man or woman is not a sustainable reason. That kind of weight loss lasts about as long as a May-December romance, if that. Taking the weight off by drinking shakes, taking pills or by way of a starvation diet is only a set up for a big ass 'F.' So, I'm happy to say that I am approaching this round with only weapons of healthy eating and exercising (with the assistance of a personal trainer) and I'm in it to win it for ME......starting today.

For the past three weeks, I've been keeping a food diary of (almost) everything I eat, on a daily basis. I don't have any weird cravings or unique tastes but I do have two very bad habits: eating out and eating late. So, those are the 2 things I'm working on changing in the next 3 weeks. Along with that, today is the first day of my 12-week exercise program. I've been talking to myself all day, chasing away that 'excuse-demon' who lives inside my head. Today marks the beginning of the end of the 'pretty fat caterpillar'..... this black butterfly is ready to spread her wings and soar.......................

Alas, my journey has begun!