Tuesday, March 20, 2012

CHANGE


As I’ve stated before, this blog started out in one direction then I decided to switch lanes. I thought it would be better…….more interesting……if my blog didn’t have a theme….if I just talked about different things & various topics.  But I didn’t take into consideration that I am very much an organized, theme-oriented person.  Whenever I contemplate hosting any kind of event, whether it’s a last-minute, friends & family gathering or a monumental occasion, I have to think of a theme for it. For me, things just flow better that way. Everyone has their own way of doing things and organizing their lives. Some people haphazardly navigate through life with no plan or half of a plan, no clear direction or particular grouping.  I can’t operate like that.  Most, not all, things have to be done in a particular order or with some semblance of uniformity.  When I go grocery shopping, all of the cold things must be bagged with similar or like products, household items with other household items, boxes & cans with other boxes & cans, etc. etc.; when I take a shower, I must begin the body cleanse with my left arm and end with a cloth-free facial wash;   When I watch TV, I prefer to sit in a particular chair or position on the bed with a drink or snack beside me (I know, that’s badbadbad); When I plan a vacation or major event (such as moving, a party, life-changing habits)  the dates & times must coincide with another date/time of some significance (i.e., beginning right after or ending right before a pay period, surrounding & including a birthday, holiday, milestone, etc. or the beginning or ending of a week, month or year).  Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying I can’t be spontaneous. That I can do and is entirely something else.  Being spontaneous usually doesn’t include doing something that involves a major expense, extended time investment or long-term commitment.  There is no planning in spontaneity so that is not what I am referring to.  I am talking about making major moves or doing something that involves quite a bit of personal commitment.  To do something like that, in a randomly fashion just. doesn’t. feel. right. to me.  That being said, I will be taking my blog in another direction.
For years, I have thought about writing an article, short story, book series, novel, screenplay…..and blog about my experiences as a girl, as a young adult, as a woman, as a Black woman, as an overweight Black woman, as an overweight Black woman who is also a mother……a lover, a friend, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, an employee, an employer, a leader, a follower, a teacher, a student, etc. etc.  Yet, I kept telling myself that ‘nobody wants to hear about that sh*t.’  Well, I’m silencing Negative Nancy and I’m going to do just what my heart has always desired. I am going to blog about, write about, talk about my life experiences and the effects they’ve had on me.  If you want to read about it, good……if you’ll read & respond, even better……if you don’t care to read about any of it, that’s fine too.  Whatever your choice, it won’t stop me from doing what I truly want to do.  So, for those who want to stay with me, please have a little patience as I work on the technical aspects of bringing my new blog to life.  In the meantime, please read, comment on & share what I’ve written thus far. Those, for whom the journey stops here, well, I thank you for coming along.  In either event...
The Buttafly Diaries will continue………

4 comments:

  1. I'm glad to see you follow your heart. I have been told that writing is a way to cope with and make sense of the things that are going on around you. I have been encouraged to write about challenges my family has faced in the past couple of years. The fear of being honest in public stifles me LOL. You are one of my heros and I look forward to the new chapters of your blog. It is refreshing to have an honest expression of feelings from someone who does not owe anything to anyone. Speak from the heart - we do want to hear it.

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  2. Thank you Cindy. The fear of being honest in public has stifled me, as well. But I can't let what I think other people's reactions will be stop me from doing what I want and need to do. To know someone understands me and is actually interested in what I have to say motivates me even more. I soooooooooooooooo appreciate your support! :-)

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  3. Sammi, it is so amazing how you and your Family have good through such a tragedy and you can share this personal information with us all. I hope this is a part of your healing. I also respect the fact that you are educating about Depression and I hope more will seek the help they need (professionally). Good Luck on your journey, with everything and may Terryn Rest in Eternal Peace.

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    1. Shanni, I moved your comment over to the right post (B.A.D) and I replied there......

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