Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Beginning Of The End.......

For a long time, (I know) my friends & family have wanted me to lose weight. I'm sure some of them have prayed, on many occasions, to the 'fat-blasting gods' to come and take this fat away. I can tell, by some of the looks I get and, the looks I don't get, that they wish I would take this fat suit off already. But no one has wanted it more than I have. 'You didn't REALLY want it,' is probably what you're saying inside your head. But, really, I did...and I do. For anyone who has had to lose more than 20 lbs., let alone my goal of 100, they know losing weight is just as much, if not more than, a mental battle as it is a physical fight. Physically, I know what to do and I am very capable of doing it. Once I get moving, it's on. Mentally, however, it has been a constant struggle. The main thing I've learned in my 17 plus years of battling the bulge is that I can't do this for anyone else and a quick-fix ain't the way. Dropping the pounds to gain the love, adoration, attraction, attention and affection from a man or woman is not a sustainable reason. That kind of weight loss lasts about as long as a May-December romance, if that. Taking the weight off by drinking shakes, taking pills or by way of a starvation diet is only a set up for a big ass 'F.' So, I'm happy to say that I am approaching this round with only weapons of healthy eating and exercising (with the assistance of a personal trainer) and I'm in it to win it for ME......starting today.

For the past three weeks, I've been keeping a food diary of (almost) everything I eat, on a daily basis. I don't have any weird cravings or unique tastes but I do have two very bad habits: eating out and eating late. So, those are the 2 things I'm working on changing in the next 3 weeks. Along with that, today is the first day of my 12-week exercise program. I've been talking to myself all day, chasing away that 'excuse-demon' who lives inside my head. Today marks the beginning of the end of the 'pretty fat caterpillar'..... this black butterfly is ready to spread her wings and soar.......................

Alas, my journey has begun!