Friday, February 24, 2012

BFly's Black Herstory Month: The Single Mother

In celebration of BFly’s Black Herstory Month, I would like to give honor & praise to the Single Mom. By definition, a single mother is a female parent who is head of her household, raising children on her own (with or without some degree of outside assistance from the male parent or other relatives). I know there are some single fathers out there, raising their children on a full-time basis but I don’t know any personally. I am also well aware that there are some single (and not single) mothers who don’t give their all and are not committed to raising happy, healthy, well-rounded citizens.  I’m not talking about them. Today, I want to celebrate the women I know who do this job and do it wellin some cases, exceptionally well. Whether or not a single mother receives financial, emotional or physical assistance from the other parent residing outside the household, her job is never easy. There is a huge difference between raising a child 24/7 and spending weekends, holidays and other planned time with them.  A single parent works full-time with rare breaks and no salary. She has to fill many roles along with being a parent: she is a maid, a cook, a chauffeur, personal assistant, stylist, nurse, teacher, referee, counselor, disciplinarian and the list goes on and on.  She is not allowed to quit when the going gets tough and she has no substitute to call on when she needs a day off.  Single moms everywhere work hard, sacrifice greatly and give more than they ever thought they possibly could.  So, today, I want to give them a shout out, some words of encouragement, formal acknowledgment and thanks for making such a wonderful contribution to society in the way of raising good human beings.  To all the great single mothers out there, I say:
Bravo to you, my sister
Your job is never done
Yet you continue to put that time in
Long after age twenty-one
Long after the kids mature
And are well off on their own
Their mother is always ‘Mommy’
And to her, they’re never grown
They remember all the nights you held them close to your heart
All the baths you gave, the meals you made, the love felt from the start
Being a good mother takes more than can be measured
And the memories created, for a lifetime, will be treasured
All the lessons that you taught and the battles that you fought
Will be honored when you see how strong and tall your children walk
When they take their first steps onto the path of independence
Accomplish goals, pursue their dreams and know their possibilities are endless
It’s because of you, dear Mom, that they have drive, that they can strive
That they know how to live, laugh and love, that they can smile with their eyes
And for them, I’ll say, THANK YOU Mom, for all that you’ve done
For raising an ambitious daughter, for raising a courageous son
a child who can now face the world on her own
a child who can give love because that’s what he was shown
The most important job of all is raising up a child
Shaping them into responsible adults, making their lives worthwhile
So while it seems the work you do is hardly ever done
If you’ve raised up a child in the way she should go then your race Is clearly won
Sameialika Tarver © February 24, 2012
This poem is dedicated to some very special single mothers I know who, in spite of their circumstances, are doing a helluva job raising their children in the way they should go: My sisters, Charliez Angelz: R. Tarver, K. Tarver, S. Tarver, N. Smith, N. Tarver, A. Tarver, C. Tarver, my dear cousins, E. Brace, S. Tarver & R. Monell and sista-friends, E. Manley, M. Moore, L. Harris, C. Hines, T. Johnson, K. Johnson, T. Mitchell, K. Thomas, S. Monk, S. Grady-Moses, and L. Phillips. These women are awesome mothers of awesome children.  Today, I salute you!