Today marks the day my youngest brother and my mother's only son was born. It would've been his 26th birthday, but due to a fateful choice he made on April 26, 2012, he is not here to celebrate. At the age of 24, he chose to end his life and thus, the battle he was having with a bout of depression. I, too, have struggled with depression during different periods of my life and I wrote this poem during one of those tough times. I had plans to leave it for my family to read, with the hopes it would give them some understanding of what I was feeling. I never thought I'd be presenting it as an homage to my baby brother.
In memory of Terryn Clevon Pringle.....FALLEN ANGEL
Anger & frustration is what I feel inside....Loneliness & longing are constantly by my side....crying & yelling, I've done all that I'll do...it helps just for the moment then that moment passes through
I will go away from here, sooner than you think...sooner than you can say, 'goodbye', as quickly as you can blink
I will go away from here, find myself some peace...find myself a cozy corner, get myself some sleep
I will go away from here, stop thinking about the pain...stop thinking about this hole in my soul, I'll never feel either again
No, I'm not taking the easy way out...No, I will not lay blame...I just don't want to be here, anymore...I want to be free from the game
I just want to get away from here...in some way, I always feel locked down...whether it be in my mind, in my search for love or me spreading my love around
I told you, I was going away from here...I told you I was tired of half-living...I was tired of feeling I was getting nowhere fast...Insane is where I was being driven
I told you I was going away from here...I told you I wanted out...I told you I had to release myself...I guess you wanted me to SHOUT
Now that I'm gone, I feel no pain, no sorrow...I have no worries, I feel no fear, no qualms about tomorrow
I feel like I am floating, looking at you from afar...I have finally found my place in the sky...I was destined to be a star....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERRYN!
*If you or a person you know are having suicidal thoughts or are going through a tough time, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for help! 1-800-273-8255 http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/