Be Careful What You Wish For: UPDATE

What a HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME it was! 

As promised, my sister (who I will refer to as 'NT' going forward) had a few great surprises lined up for me. My birthday agenda started off with a manicure and pedicure; then we proceeded to a local chain restaurant, where we had dinner and drinks with a couple friends. During this time, NT informed me that the surprise she had scheduled for 9:30 pm wasn't going to pan out. That news  immediately took me from a happy place to a frowning face. She asked me if I had anything I wanted to do and, of course, I didn't. As I mentioned in my previous post, my funds were limited and the clothes I was wearing were not fit for much more than (a place similar to) where we were. I did have on some beautiful, leopard print Michael Kors booties that I ordered a few weeks ago, as a gift to myself. But, the outfit I put together was very casual. Cute, but not fabulous as it should have been. Anyway, believing my night was going to end just as I was starting to feel good, I was ready to go home and park myself in front of the TV (as usual). Then, one of the ladies I was with convinced me to go to the next spot (which was a bar/restaurant that I had no desire to go to). As soon as we arrived, I was pissed. The place was packed, which would have fine if there was a table available for me and the ladies. We had to walk around and wait for over an hour before we were able to get a table. By then, I (and another person I was with) was ready to call it a night. But, we didn't. After having a couple more drinks, my mood improved and I was ready to party. Since this place isn't exactly a 'partying' spot, I settled for dancing in my seat and in the aisle with NT's boyfriend. Then, out of nowhere, one of my sisters & my brother in law (who flew in from our hometown that evening), his cousin and another guy I know from my hometown walked in! Ooooohhhhhhh chile, was I surprised and happy to see them!! My mood increased by a 1000....and so did my alcohol level. As soon as they arrived, they ordered a round of shots for everyone....then another....then a round of drinks.....and another. By the time we were ready to leave that place, I was way over my limit. I went home that night, feeling drunk off of love and liquor!

NT had something planned for me the next day, as well, so I had to deal with the hangover in order to make it to my next birthday surprise. It was a struggle for me to get it together but it was definitely worth it. I was treated to a 90 minute, full-body massage and sugar foot scrub. Can you say, 'heavennnnnnnnnnnn!' It was my first time getting a professional massage and it was everything I imagined it to be plus more. My massage therapist was a woman, with a very sweet voice and strong, skilled hands. At first, her touch felt a little suspect (light feather touches over the legs and buttocks that seemed to be unnecessary) then I realized it was just part of the process. I found it difficult to fully relax, in the beginning but before I knew it, I had completely surrendered. I woke myself up, several times, from my own snoring. At one point, my snoring was so loud, I scared myself! I was so embarrassed. However, I learned that a client's snoring is actually a compliment to the massage therapist. It lets them know that their client is fully relaxed and, likely, satisfied with their treatment. I was. After the massage, I had to go shopping for something to wear to the birthday party we were planning to attend that evening (in honor of my brother in law's sister).

The shopping trip was an emotional one for me (unbeknownst to my sis) because, for some reason that I haven't figured out, I experienced an 'Aha! moment' that hadn't hit me before. For me, shopping has always been stressful. I could never wear the things I wanted to wear and when I did find something I liked, in my size 20, it was almost always either too expensive or too matronly. When I walked in the store yesterday, I went straight to the plus-size section, as I usually did. I found nothing there and I started to leave the store, disappointed, but stopped to think maybe….just maybe…I could find something in the ‘regular’ sized section. Mind you, it's been a good while since I've lost weight and have been able to shop and find nice things in the regular sections so, I don't understand why this time, I hesitated. I looked, timidly at first, then I saw something I liked. I figured the leggings I chose would fit because they’re stretchy but I was skeptical about the shirt. Imagine my joy when I tried the outfit on and not only did it fit but I looked damn good in it! That motivated me to find some nice jewelry to match. I found a set in gold and silver so I bought both. Having those items and knowing I was going to look great boosted my enthusiasm to go to the party that night. Usually, I’m the party pooper; the ladies can’t stand me because I almost always opt out of partying with them. But, they don’t understand (or even know about) the anxiety I feel. Although we're not in competition and I know I can hold my own, I have to admit that, hanging with the glammed out divas has been difficult for me, at times. It's not always easy finding clothes that make me feel & look like a million bucks (like the divas always do) instead of the overweight auntie that a lot of plus-sized clothing made me feel & look like. Before we went shopping, I wasn't too excited about going out again but, after getting my outfit and accessories, I was looking forward to it. I went home, took a good nap (in an effort to sleep off the lingering effects from the night before) and when I woke up, I felt rested and ready to party. I got dressed with 100 % enthusiasm and 0% anxiety. I went to the party feeling good and enjoyed myself to the fullest (complete with more shots and drinks....omg).  

On Sunday, I woke up with a happy heart and smiling face. I enjoyed breakfast and conversation with NT and 2 friends. That evening, NT made one of my favorite meals and our sister joined us for dinner. We spent some quality time together before it was time for her to return home. 

My birthday weekend was more beautiful than I imagined it would be. Not only did I have a great time but it was one of those times that was great because it included activities and people that made a significant mark in my personal history book. Spending my first birthday away from 'home' was truly a wonderful and memorable experience! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 

Be Careful What You Wish For......

Today is my birthday. I'm not excited and I'm not shouting it from the rooftop (as you can tell from the letter case and punctuation I used) but I am happy. I'm blessed to see another day and to have made it another year. However, I will admit that I feel a bit bummed.

In my family, birthdays are a huge deal and whenever possible (which is almost always), we celebrate in a significant way. We can't/don't always have big parties but a gathering of family & friends with cake, food, drinks and even a few cards/gifts are always on the agenda. This year is different. This year, I am 1200 miles away from the people I usually spend my birthday with. I am 1200 miles away from my personal stylist (sister, who makes sure my hair and wardrobe is right for the occasion), my cheerleaders (daughter & grandiva, who make me smile on the wakeup), my partner in crime (sistercous, who I could count on for a manicure/pedicure) and my crazy clan (of sisters, cousins and friends) who make sure I have a wildly fun time! Just as I wished to be, months ago. Before I came to Charlotte, I longed for a calmer atmosphere, less crowded holidays & turned down celebrations. I couldn't wait to 'do things differently.'  And different, they have been.

Last night, while watching our usual Thursday night TV programs, my sister surprised me with a beautiful, delicious red velvet cake along with a very cute birthday card, which informed me that I should be dressed and ready to rock 'n roll by 5:00 pm this evening. She said she has a few surprises in store for me, which put a smile on my heart because I just love surprises (and great greeting cards)!  Still, I find it a struggle to get excited. I'm in a new city, with few relatives/friends and limited finances. I am unable to enjoy the sweet touches that usually come with my birthday and, more importantly, I do not have the people (my daughter, siblings and mother) around me that I cherish the most. Sure, I have a sister here (that I do love & cherish) and even a few other good women that I enjoy the company of. I know my sister is going to do her best to make sure I enjoy my evening....and I'm pretty sure I will. Yet, it's just not the same. I know this comes with the territory of moving away and believe me, I thought about it.....a lot.... before I made the move. I just really didn't think it would be such a big deal being away from my family & friends on this day. But, it is.

To some of you, I may sound ungrateful and/or immature. There are folk who regard a birthday as 'just another day' or believe that birthday expectations & celebrations are for kids. You may be thinking, I should be happy I'm still alive (I am), I should appreciate my sister and her efforts (I do), I should embrace where I am now  (I have) and I should get over being away from my hometown loved ones (I will). It's just that, this is my first year not being able to celebrate with my usual crew. The first year I won't be able to enjoy their big laughter, crazy antics and loving gestures. The first year I celebrate without my favorite people. But, as the saying goes, there's a first time for everything.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today is my granddaughter's first birthday.............HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHAR ST*R!

one of many gran'divalicious photos from her

First Birthday Photo Shoot....

......and though she has no idea of how special this day is, her parents and family are excited about it. So excited that her soon-to-be step-grandma set up a special birthday photo shoot, complete with custom-made outfits, props and a special-ordered birthday cake.  I wasn't surprised that A'shari would be taking birthday pictures because her parents have taken her to get photos taken for every month of her life.  So, this month would be no different.  And what a photo shoot it was!  I'm not permitted to post too many of the exclusive photos so I have these few on this post and I may post a few more later.  Anyway, I thought I would be spending this day with my gran'diva, getting in some quality G'ammi time, but her parents have hijacked my plans and are taking Lil' Miss A'shari out on the town.  Sooooooooooo, I guess I'll see her when she gets home.

Birthday photo-shoot cake.....

In the meantime, a big birthday bash is planned for this weekend and....I dread it.  It's not that I don't want to celebrate my grandbaby and her first year of life.  I just think it's such a waste of money for parents to spend a lot of money and put in so much effort for a baby's 1st birthday.  I mean, the kid has no idea it's their birthday and more than likely, will feel more aggravated than celebrated by all of the people who are sure to be in their faces for hours on end.  Then, you factor in all the noise, the 'scary' characters that people sometimes hire and it's really just a recipe for Baby Meltdown.  I understand parents want to go all out for their little one and show everyone how special their kid is but.....Baby's First Birthday Bash......really?

Don't get me wrong, my daughter certainly had a first birthday party but I believe we celebrated it at McDonald's...or maybe it was at the house.  See?  I can't even remember it so I know she damn sure doesn't.  Anyway, I tried to convince my daughter to 'dare to be different' and keep it simple: hot dogs, hamburgers, salad, chips and cake at the house with close relatives and friends. All the money that will be spent on a party can be used for more important things like, my daughter's college tuition, baby's necessities or baby's savings account.  Start a new family tradition for celebrating birthdays: memorable experiences that include travel, culture and character-building. But, noooooooooooooooo, she wouldn't hear of it.  A'shari has to have a big party and invite every person she knows. That's it and that's all.  So, this weekend we'll be celebrating the gran'diva's first year of life in the way of A Berry Big Birthday Bash with Strawberry Shortcake themed everything; complete with a professional photo set up, custom-made birthday cake and personalized games.  I'm sure it's gonna be great fun, with lots of good food, people, music (yes, the girl is even gonna have a DJ playing strawberry shortcake-themed music) and many great moments to cherish. 

Too bad the birthday girl won't remember any of it.  SMH

yummmmm........good!

WE FALL DOWN.......

Okay, so this weekend, I fell off track.....

I went out on Friday night to celebrate my cousin's birthday.....had some lemon-pepper wings (only 5...and I did have carrots & celery too) w/a smidgeon of bleu cheese and 3 (7-9 oz) Southern Sex On The Beach cocktails (southern comfort, vodka, orange & cranberry juices). I was home early.....by 1am and asleep before 2:30 am.....but missed my 11am workout w/trainer on Saturday. Because I didn't work out that day, I decided to stay in Saturday night to avoid drinking a bunch of alcohol and eating a bunch of food. However, I did have 2 slices of cheese pizza for late dinner on Saturday night. I also had garden salad with no dressing and, I must say, it was pretty tasty. I did end up pouring myself one cocktail and drank about 24 oz of Pepsi during the night.

Yesterday, I was bad bad baaaaaaad! I went to Cracker Barrel with a friend for brunch to celebrate her birthday and had 2 pancakes w/butter & syrup, 3 slices of bacon, hashbrown casserole (app 1 cup) and a tall glass of cranberry/orange juice. Then, last night, I went to my sister's house and had fried chicken (6 wing dings), mashed potatoes & mixed vegetables ( about 1/2 cup each) for dinner. Also, I drank 3-4 glasses of Red Alize (6 oz each).


Today, I am getting back on track. I worked out for an hour, doing 2 dance routines via Exercise On Demand and I've only had water so far. I do plan to have a lil treat some time today but I will be fully on point tomorrow. I would say, for the rest of the week, but I know I have to take this thing one day at a time........



HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!