Poetry Corner: A LETTER FROM THE WOMB

DEAR  MOMMY: A letter from the womb

c.  Sameialika Tarver October 25, 2006

To keep or not to keep
you ponder every day

You wonder if it's meant to be
for you and me to stay

Together, connected by body

Together, connected by blood

Together, connected by my father

Together, connected by love

You think about the pain

you imagine I will bring

You know your life won't be the same

If you take a chance on this beautiful thing

Your life will be turned upside down

Adjustments, you'll have to make

The experience of birth won't be much fun

yet, it will be worth you seeing my face

The memories of your labor pains

will soon fade away

The memories you and I will make

caould never be erased

Yes, your pockets may run low

your me-time and patience, too

But, just imagine how you'll feel

when I look at you

When I snuggle against your skin

and grip your hand in mine

Imagine the joy that will fill your heart

when I say 'Mommy' for the first time

I look forward to meeting you,

my Daddy, Grandma, Grandpa, too

To smell your scent, to hear your voice

I know that you will make the right choice

Choose Me, Mom

Choose Us

Choose Me, Mom

Choose Love

Poetry: TIME

As I head to the Queen City to celebrate my sister's 40th birthday, I want to remind people to take the time (to make a phone call, send a text, a card, a letter, visit, meet up with, reach out) to make connections with the people who are important to you. Yes, we all have to take care of ourselves, our families, go to work, pay the bills and do all of the required work of a grown up. However, we have to make our personal relationships a priority in our lives, as well. Too often, we take our friends, our loved ones, our lives for granted. It can't be said too many times that we need to stop and smell the roses, strike some poses and show those we care about just how much we like them, love them, want and need them around. We must cherish the moments we have with them now, because when they are gone, they are gone forever........and as we've all learned, tomorrow is promised to no one.

TIME

Time flies, they say

When you're having fun

to the rising of the moon

from the dawning of the sun

Time crawls, it seems

when the skies are gray

when you long for someone

to take the pain away

Time waits for no soul

for the seconds, they fly

the minutes speed walk

while the hours run wild

Time on my hands

is what I have without you

is what I wish I had more of

when the times are few

far and in between

the Then and the Now

My heart bursts at the seams

when I think about how

much time I've wasted

worrying about nothing

bitching and complaining

just trying to find something

A reason
that you were not perfect, As Is

how much wrong you had done

Now those things don't mean shit

Time flies, they say

and I know that is true

Oh how I wish I had more time

just 
to spend
with you

c. Sameialika Tarver, March 25, 2007

Finding Your Identity

FINDING YOUR IDENTITY -- AUTHOR UNKNOWN


If you love yourself completely for whom you really are,
nothing will deter you from seeking your own star.
Finding your identity is to love your inner soul,
this should be a priority; this should be your goal.


Don't become concerned what others think or say,
pursue to find your truth, this is the only way.
Finding your identity strengthens your belief,
your future can be changed to give you sweet relief.


You might be overcome by rules that others make,
release these misconceptions; it's better for your sake.
Finding your identity frees the bonds that bind,
allowing you your freedom that you could never find.


Building up self-confidence is not an easy task,
but once you have achieved this, it will always last.
Finding your identity will encourage you to trust,
in your sacred power, it's such a blessed plus.


Soon you will encounter as awareness grows,
your own special gifts, this you feel and know.
Finding your identity expands your need to learn,
how to be independent; this is a key concern.


Then life as you once knew it will change over time,
self-worth is so important so you can start to shine.
Finding your identity will give you self-esteem,
it hides deep within you; it's where it's always been

FRIDAY'S FOOD FOR THE SOUL: Maya Angelou

I'VE LEARNED by Maya Angelou

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."   

 "I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back." "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." 

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ME!

God's Gift

I am God's gift

to this bountiful earth

Prepared for the one

who recognizes my worth

The one who will see

he needs no one but me

For it is I who satisfies

his every need

I am God's gift

to this wonderful life

and one day, I will make

a most beautiful wife

For my king

who will know, from one look

in my eyes

It is me

he has waited for all of his life

the queen for his kingdom

the one he has yearned for
the one all of those hard lessons

he learned for

I am God's gift

for the only one who sees

that I was put on this earth

for him to cherish me

for me to cherish he

for us to become a we

As I am unto him

He will be unto me....

God's Gift

c. Sameialika Tarver, March 2007

BFly's Ode to Black Men

Since February is unoffficially/officially (depending on who you ask) the month to celebrate Black History and the mystery called Love, I'm gonna SET IT OFF with this...

BFly's Ode to Black Men

The mystery and history of thee Beautiful Black Man

is what keeps him hot as fire

he's the subject of many roundtables

the object of many desires

His walk is sexy & unique

individually perfected

specifically tweaked

the tone of his voice and the twinkle in his eye

is what captures my attention

keeps me attuned to my guy

I love the way he smirks when he's on top of his game

and the way his ears perk up when I call his name

his love for his kids is beautiful to see

what's more beautiful is when he's standing beside me

being inside me, loving all sides of me

knowing and believing without me there's no he

The mystery and history of my beautiful Black Man

is that NO ONE on earth can do it like he can

HIStory has shown that his strength is incredible

with spirit unleashed, determination is incomparable

possibilities are endless despite any obstacles

what he puts his mind to my man can attain

despite the color of his skin, the letters in his name

What I love, most of all, is the status he brings

for he's not just a black man

he is a King

I love, I admire and sometimes I can't stand 

but I'd rather live with 
than without

my Black Man

Sameialika Tarver 2012

LOST FILES: Out with the old, In with the new!

Out with the old and In with the new
tired of dealing with all the things I've been through
tired of hearing that same ole song
of how if this ain't right, you'll be wrong
all day long
of how the loving's so good and you can't get enough
yet it just ain't enough for you to go pack your stuff

and get away from the one of whom you're so tired
you say she ain't on her job yet the bitch still ain't fired
so I quit, baby, cause the pay ain't shit
tired of being your temp cause it ain't covering no rent

That's why it's...
Out with the old and In with the new

got a dude who's willing to do things you won't do
got a dude who is ready to make moves not just grooves
not just talking the talk but ready to show and prove
got a man whose not only commanding my attention
but he's got my respect and oh, did I mention

he's confident, ain't worried one minute about you
ain't asking no questions, ain't searchin' round for a clue
cause he's so sure of himself and his power within
he knows you and your history ain't no match for him
cause I told him about you....how I was so feeling you
but it's a new year, boo.......had enough of you

That's why it's
Out with the old and In with the New!!


c. Sameialika Tarver 2005

'Twas The Night Before Christmas: A Mistress' Tale

'Twas the night before Christmas, I felt like a fool

I had given away one of my most precious jewels

my heart was taken with lies and wet kisses

I was seduced into playing the role of his mistress

Our days were filled with mystery and hot passion

not thinking of his family or consequences of our actions

I told him I loved him, he told me he cared

he bought me gifts aplenty, deep secrets we shared

He spent nights at my house, most days I spent alone

staring out the window, listening for the phone

Upon his arrival, I'd run to the door

welcoming and delighted in being his whore

The night before Christmas, I heard a terrible noise

out on my front lawn were his wife and two boys

she screamed and she yelled, she wanted to fight

he ducked behind the door, trying to stay out of sight

She approached me and roared, "Bitch, get out of my way!

I came for my husband, with me he's gon stay!

'Get out here' she demanded, as she lunged for the door

 He came out from hiding and I knew she had scored

I looked at him, pleadingly as he looked away

straightened up his clothes and walked out

to my dismay

I stood there shocked in spite of what I already knew

he had a home and his family he was returning to

As he got in the car and drove off with his wife

I stood frozen as the pain cut like a knife

I shuddered as reality suddenly set in

I'll  be spending the holidays alone

once again

c. Sameialika Tarver 2005

The Time Is Now...

Today is my father's birthday. It's been over 10 years since he passed away but my siblings and I still acknowledge, and in some way, celebrate the day our father was born. When he was alive, he would not let us forget it. He would call us days before, telling us what we better have for him he wanted and he made sure to show up and collect. In some ways, I felt like, 'he got some damn nerve!' but, for the most part, I took joy in showing my Dad some love on his special day. He was nowhere near a perfect father but he loved him some me and I loved me some him.. We shared a close bond and had a good relationship. I was a 'Daddy's Girl' for most of my life, but things changed as I got older. 

In the weeks before my father died, I was giving him the cold shoulder. If he said anything to me, my responses would be short & snippy, I kept my distance and my smiles for him were tight-lipped, if I smiled his way at all. During this time, I was ready to confront him and go head-to-head with the 'Why didn't you/where were you when...' conversation. I had asked him a few hard questions before, but it was never an opportunity where we could have a full-blown discussion. I was so ready for it, and I could tell, in his eyes, he wasn't. I believe he had an idea of how I I felt because he seemed to be extra soft & cautious in our interactions. He wouldn't say too much about my attitude and actions towards him but he would give me this look. A look that said, 'You better watch who you're talking to' but 'I understand where you're coming from' at the same time. For the most part, I never gave my father any backtalk (because I knew I would get a backhand and a fat lip), but at this particular time, I didn't care. I was (as they say today) in my feelings. I felt hurt so I wanted him to hurt too. 

Then, one night, my father was hit and run over by a car....and he died from the injuries 10 days later. He was in tremendous pain in the days leading up to his death and I felt no sympathy. It was one of the few times in my life that I felt cold & indifferent towards someone I loved. I was mad so, at the time, I thought, 'that's what he gets' (the pain, not the incident). Not once did I think he would die (from those circumstances) and never did I wish death upon him. I just didn't care that he was suffering and I chalked it up to him getting his karma. Then, he was gone.  

As I saw my father lying lifeless on my sister's couch, all the things I felt the need to say to him before didn't seem to matter much. In the subsequent days of planning his funeral, I had time to think, reflect and reminisce. I thought about how unnecessary and unfair my recent actions toward my father were. How, instead of being funky and cold towards him, I could have used a more loving, warm approach. Instead of judging my father on the things I thought he did wrong, I could have focused on all of the things he did right. I could have looked at him as the flawed human being he was (as we all are); a person who made choices that resulted in some good and some bad. I could see the hurt in my Dad's eyes from the disappointment he knew I felt. Yes, I had some resentment but our good times greatly outweighed the bad times. I should have reassured my Daddy how much I loved him, and that I was still his girl, in spite of it all....

No matter how much anger, resentment or disappointment you feel, if you love someone, need someone or want someone in your life, let them know.....now....before it's too late.

Don't wait until it's too late.....

if you love me, tell me now

if you care, show me how much 

I really mean to you

Don't wait until it's too late....

if there's something you want me to have, give it to me today

if there's something I need to know, don't hesitate 

say what's on your mind

Don't wait until it's too late...

if the time comes, take it

when the chance arrives, embrace it

and make 

every 

moment 

count

Don't wait until it's too late...

when my eyes can no longer see

and my ears can no longer hear 

when my feelings can no longer be

Don't wait until it's too late

when my body has gone cold

and your words and actions can do me no good

and all I am is a memory to hold

Don't wait 

another day might be too late....

the time 

is now

copyright 2013 by Sameialika Tarver

Happy Birthday Daddy

LOVE: The survival of the fittest

My ego wants me to hate you but it's me that I despise...
for allowing you to seduce me with your well rehearsed lines of overused lies....

With that fire in your eyes, you ignited a spark that had me longing for things we could do in the dark....

The brightness of your smile blinded me to a truth that is so ugly 
your lips that I kissed told fibs about how much you really loved me.....

The way you held me in your arms gave a comfort I needed
so when I saw the first warning sign, I refused to heed it....

In that moment, when the bold truth burst thru the door, I didn't want to face the you I knew I wouldn't want any more.. 
No matter how much my heart wanted you to be the one for me, my mind could not decry or deny the cold reality....

The disappointment in knowing I was wrong....again
The frustration of having to start all over.... again
The humiliation of having to face my family and friends....

But truth is, I am human and though it's love that I want, I refuse to be fueled by desperation
I need a truth I can flaunt
I refuse to be led on by good looks or charm, I need arm candy of loyalty
only a king of honesty is fit for my royalty

I will not allow a foolish man to swindle me out of my heart in return for sweet nothings given out in the dark...
I won't be driven crazy by drama created by desperate exes and lonely baby mamas...

I need a love that is mature, healthy and true
and though I hate to admit it, that love is not you.....
So, onward I go, with another lesson learned 
and though my feelings have been burned, my heart is still intact
and...
I will survive.

copyright 2013 by Sameialika Tarver

Fallen Angel.....

Today marks the day my youngest brother and my mother's only son was born. It would've been his 26th birthday, but due to a fateful choice he made on April 26, 2012, he is not here to celebrate. At the age of 24, he chose to end his life and thus, the battle he was having with a bout of depression. I, too, have struggled with depression during different periods of my life and I wrote this poem during one of those tough times. I had plans to leave it for my family to read, with the hopes it would give them some understanding of what I was feeling. I never thought I'd be presenting it as an homage to my baby brother.

In memory of Terryn Clevon Pringle.....FALLEN ANGEL

Anger & frustration is what I feel inside....Loneliness & longing are constantly by my side....crying & yelling, I've done all that I'll do...it helps just for the moment then that moment passes through

I will go away from here, sooner than you think...sooner than you can say, 'goodbye', as quickly as you can blink

I will go away from here, find myself some peace...find myself a cozy corner, get myself some sleep

I will go away from here, stop thinking about the pain...stop thinking about this hole in my soul, I'll never feel either again

No, I'm not taking the easy way out...No, I will not lay blame...I just don't want to be here, anymore...I want to be free from the game

I just want to get away from here...in some way, I always feel locked down...whether it be in my mind, in my search for love or me spreading my love around

I told you, I was going away from here...I told you I was tired of half-living...I was tired of feeling I was getting nowhere fast...Insane is where I was being driven

I told you I was going away from here...I told you I wanted out...I told you I had to release myself...I guess you wanted me to SHOUT

Now that I'm gone, I feel no pain, no sorrow...I have no worries, I feel no fear, no qualms about tomorrow

I feel like I am floating, looking at you from afar...I have finally found my place in the sky...I was destined to be a star....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERRYN!

*If you or a person you know are having suicidal thoughts or are going through a tough time, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for help! 1-800-273-8255 http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/