FINDING YOUR IDENTITY -- AUTHOR UNKNOWN
If you love yourself completely for whom you really are,
nothing will deter you from seeking your own star.
Finding your identity is to love your inner soul,
this should be a priority; this should be your goal.
Don't become concerned what others think or say,
pursue to find your truth, this is the only way.
Finding your identity strengthens your belief,
your future can be changed to give you sweet relief.
You might be overcome by rules that others make,
release these misconceptions; it's better for your sake.
Finding your identity frees the bonds that bind,
allowing you your freedom that you could never find.
Building up self-confidence is not an easy task,
but once you have achieved this, it will always last.
Finding your identity will encourage you to trust,
in your sacred power, it's such a blessed plus.
Soon you will encounter as awareness grows,
your own special gifts, this you feel and know.
Finding your identity expands your need to learn,
how to be independent; this is a key concern.
Then life as you once knew it will change over time,
self-worth is so important so you can start to shine.
Finding your identity will give you self-esteem,
it hides deep within you; it's where it's always been
Friday, October 16, 2015
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
BODY TALK: an apology
originally written 2012, updated October 2015
Many of us have hurt or wronged other people and usually, our conscience leads us to want to right our wrongs and make the promise to never exhibit the hurtful behavior again. But how many of us apologize to ourselves for the pain we cause to our own minds, bodies and souls? As I walked around the track one morning, I realized I owe myself an apology. More specifically, I owe my body an apology. Every step I took, in trying to complete my 2 miles, reminded me of how wrong I’ve treated my body over the years.
I robbed her of her privacy, her innocence, her stability and security. I have misused and abused her. Neglectful habits, such as gluttonous eating & drinking, irresponsible sexcapades and ignored medical maintenance/treatment have led to my body’s constant aches, fight with illness and unsightly areas. While walking, I could feel the effects of the alcoholic beverages I downed the night before. I don’t have a hangover, per se, but my pace is significantly slower than the last trek I took around the track. My back has been aching since 2001, when the pounds really started to pile on. I remember vowing to never reach the 200 mark on the scale or have to shop in ‘fat lady’ stores. Now, seeing the plus-size shops/sections provide relief and being 200lbs would mean a significant achievement has been earned.
Walking these 2 miles may not sound like much to most, but my shins, calves and ankles burn from this activity. It hurts, not because it’s rigorous but because of so many years of inactivity. In addition to causing aches and pains, my weight has forced different parts of my body to change in ways that are not only ‘unpretty’ but very uncomfortable to carry. It all seemed to happen suddenly but I know it was a gradual change that I didn't pay attention to; that is, until I had no choice but to acknowledge what I felt and saw in the mirror. One day, in particular, I was served up a startling reality, when my belly met my thighs. I had never felt as disgusted with myself as I did at the moment, while ascending a flight of stairs, I felt the skin of my belly touch the top of my thighs. Even a previous reading of my weight at 245 lbs. did not give me the idea that I was THAT big. But, that meeting of the flesh told me I was way out of control with the mistreatment of myself and the temple that carried me along. It prompted me to get real and get serious about my body maintenance; to get my mind right and get my fat ass off of the couch and put it in motion. But first, I want to express my sincere apology to my body:
Body. Girl I am so sorry for all the stress I’ve put you through. So sorry for those nights of careless drinking that caused your stomach to heave with no mercy and your throat to burn with the acids of rebellion. I’m sorry for allowing your skin to be touched by undeserving, uncaring and unworthy men. I apologize for all the lies I let slide just to feel the glide of some man’s penis in your vagina, anticipating a climactic experience that rarely came. It’s a shame how I laid you down and opened you up to so much pain and discomfort through immature pregnancy, abortion and miscarriage. I can’t believe how blind I was to the amount of damage I was causing, time after time, by allowing you to be slapped, kicked, punched and even spit on. I’m sorry for all the days I laid up on the couch or buried myself underneath my bed blankets, feeling sorry for myself. I apologize for depriving you of much needed rest & rejuvenation by staying up late at night, eyes burning from hours of exposure to the glare of the TV screen and gallons of searing tears. I tried to ease the hurt and soothe the pain by eating & drinking, drinking & sexing and eating some more. They never helped….and what a toll those things took on you!
As the pain in my back, creaks of my knees and weakness in my ankles worsen, the message becomes louder and clearer. I know you tried to warn me with subtle messages, like a rounder face, plump belly, chubby arms and chunky thighs, but I didn’t listen. When the contour of my behind went from shapely to shapeless, I didn’t stop. When my feet went from a size 7.5 to 8.5, I didn’t stop. When my wardrobe went from young, fly & sassy to old, big & frumpy, I didn’t stop. Even when my romantic life went from promising to broken promises, I did not stop. Then, you threatened me with palpitations in my heart, blurring of my vision, shortness of breath, sleepless nights and even diagnoses of depression and diabetes. And still, I did not stop.
But things have changed. I hear you now. I am listening. I see you. I feel you. I hope you appreciate the strides I have made, thus far. Although I am still carrying a substantial amount of extra weight, I've gone from a size 20 to a 14/16 or XL and can now shop in 'regular' stores/departments. You look considerably different, most notably in the face and waist areas. We are still a work in progress but we are looking, feeling and doing much better today than we were yesterday. Body, girl, you have been with me, every step of the way and though you’ve had your moments of weakness, you have remained pretty damn strong. You’ve held it together well, under the tremendous amount of pressure, stress, pain and strain I’ve allowed into our lives. For that, I am grateful. Because of it, I am hopeful. Your strength encourages me. I pray that you will accept my apology and remain strong so that, together, we can rebuild our lives, one step at a time.
Body, I apologize.
Many of us have hurt or wronged other people and usually, our conscience leads us to want to right our wrongs and make the promise to never exhibit the hurtful behavior again. But how many of us apologize to ourselves for the pain we cause to our own minds, bodies and souls? As I walked around the track one morning, I realized I owe myself an apology. More specifically, I owe my body an apology. Every step I took, in trying to complete my 2 miles, reminded me of how wrong I’ve treated my body over the years.
I robbed her of her privacy, her innocence, her stability and security. I have misused and abused her. Neglectful habits, such as gluttonous eating & drinking, irresponsible sexcapades and ignored medical maintenance/treatment have led to my body’s constant aches, fight with illness and unsightly areas. While walking, I could feel the effects of the alcoholic beverages I downed the night before. I don’t have a hangover, per se, but my pace is significantly slower than the last trek I took around the track. My back has been aching since 2001, when the pounds really started to pile on. I remember vowing to never reach the 200 mark on the scale or have to shop in ‘fat lady’ stores. Now, seeing the plus-size shops/sections provide relief and being 200lbs would mean a significant achievement has been earned.
Walking these 2 miles may not sound like much to most, but my shins, calves and ankles burn from this activity. It hurts, not because it’s rigorous but because of so many years of inactivity. In addition to causing aches and pains, my weight has forced different parts of my body to change in ways that are not only ‘unpretty’ but very uncomfortable to carry. It all seemed to happen suddenly but I know it was a gradual change that I didn't pay attention to; that is, until I had no choice but to acknowledge what I felt and saw in the mirror. One day, in particular, I was served up a startling reality, when my belly met my thighs. I had never felt as disgusted with myself as I did at the moment, while ascending a flight of stairs, I felt the skin of my belly touch the top of my thighs. Even a previous reading of my weight at 245 lbs. did not give me the idea that I was THAT big. But, that meeting of the flesh told me I was way out of control with the mistreatment of myself and the temple that carried me along. It prompted me to get real and get serious about my body maintenance; to get my mind right and get my fat ass off of the couch and put it in motion. But first, I want to express my sincere apology to my body:
Body. Girl I am so sorry for all the stress I’ve put you through. So sorry for those nights of careless drinking that caused your stomach to heave with no mercy and your throat to burn with the acids of rebellion. I’m sorry for allowing your skin to be touched by undeserving, uncaring and unworthy men. I apologize for all the lies I let slide just to feel the glide of some man’s penis in your vagina, anticipating a climactic experience that rarely came. It’s a shame how I laid you down and opened you up to so much pain and discomfort through immature pregnancy, abortion and miscarriage. I can’t believe how blind I was to the amount of damage I was causing, time after time, by allowing you to be slapped, kicked, punched and even spit on. I’m sorry for all the days I laid up on the couch or buried myself underneath my bed blankets, feeling sorry for myself. I apologize for depriving you of much needed rest & rejuvenation by staying up late at night, eyes burning from hours of exposure to the glare of the TV screen and gallons of searing tears. I tried to ease the hurt and soothe the pain by eating & drinking, drinking & sexing and eating some more. They never helped….and what a toll those things took on you!
As the pain in my back, creaks of my knees and weakness in my ankles worsen, the message becomes louder and clearer. I know you tried to warn me with subtle messages, like a rounder face, plump belly, chubby arms and chunky thighs, but I didn’t listen. When the contour of my behind went from shapely to shapeless, I didn’t stop. When my feet went from a size 7.5 to 8.5, I didn’t stop. When my wardrobe went from young, fly & sassy to old, big & frumpy, I didn’t stop. Even when my romantic life went from promising to broken promises, I did not stop. Then, you threatened me with palpitations in my heart, blurring of my vision, shortness of breath, sleepless nights and even diagnoses of depression and diabetes. And still, I did not stop.
But things have changed. I hear you now. I am listening. I see you. I feel you. I hope you appreciate the strides I have made, thus far. Although I am still carrying a substantial amount of extra weight, I've gone from a size 20 to a 14/16 or XL and can now shop in 'regular' stores/departments. You look considerably different, most notably in the face and waist areas. We are still a work in progress but we are looking, feeling and doing much better today than we were yesterday. Body, girl, you have been with me, every step of the way and though you’ve had your moments of weakness, you have remained pretty damn strong. You’ve held it together well, under the tremendous amount of pressure, stress, pain and strain I’ve allowed into our lives. For that, I am grateful. Because of it, I am hopeful. Your strength encourages me. I pray that you will accept my apology and remain strong so that, together, we can rebuild our lives, one step at a time.
Body, I apologize.
Friday, October 31, 2014
TRICK OR TREAT: Grown Folks' Candy
TRICK OR TREAT for Grown Folks
© Sameialika Tarver 10/21/07
Trick or Treat, I'm so sweet
the kind my baby loves to eat
I'm candy corns, butter fingers,
decadent chocolate....my flava lingers
Like jolly ranchers, swedish fish
a smack-yo-lips type 'o dish
scoop me like ice cream
eat me like cake
smell my sweetness
like an apple bake
It's Halloween y'all
scary and sweet
so find ya'self a trick
and be their memorable treat
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Friday, March 7, 2014
FRIDAY'S FOOD FOR THE SOUL: Maya Angelou
I'VE LEARNED by Maya Angelou
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."
"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."
"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."
"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back." "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."
Monday, March 3, 2014
A Necessary Struggle....
I'd like to share a story that I found, "BUTTERFLY". The message is both powerful and insightful. I draw strength from these words, as well as a new perspective on life and my experiences. It explains why we have to go through some "bad" experiences to get to the good. It also underlines the fact that we must allow our children, family members and friends go through difficult times without 'rushing to grease them up' before every fight. STOP going to the schools making up excuses taking up for your kids when you know they were wrong. STOP buying them everything just because they want it, or because such and such has it, while they haven't done a thing to earn it. STOP making excuses for ignorant and disrespectful behavior. STOP allowing your kids to do grown up things and make grown up decisions before they are fully grown.
Everyone has to find their own way. Dealing with adversity and overcoming obstacles builds strength, character and self-esteem. Read on and be enlightened................
Everyone has to find their own way. Dealing with adversity and overcoming obstacles builds strength, character and self-esteem. Read on and be enlightened................
BUTTERFLY
author unknown
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day, a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours, as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then, it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then, the man decided to help the butterfly. So, he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, but it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened!! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of his life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon & the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were necessary for the full growth of the butterfly. It was God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through life without obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been, and we could never fly.
So, have a nice day and struggle a little! author unknown
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