Is There An Easy Way Out?

By now, we all know there is no 'magic pill' nor quick permanent solution to losing weight.  You must expend more calories than you take in.....period.  You must eat less, move more. But lately, I've been in a funk and feeling like I just can't do it on my own.  So I started thinking about surgery.  I know I'd never do gastric bypass but the 'lesser evil,' Lap-Band surgery, I would consider.....have considered.....considering right now.  One part of me is saying, 'NO, YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT SURGERY!' while the other part is saying, 'OH YEAH???  WELL, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE IT YET...HUH, HUH?  

I've looked at the pros and cons and I'm not afraid of getting the surgery. I know what the possible & probable side effects are and they don't 'scare' me much.  What has held me back from doing it is my own ego & pride.  If I do it, then people will say/think I took the 'easy way out.'  I know I shouldn't care about others' thoughts & opinions but the competitor in me wants the 'trophy' and recognition from doing it without surgery.  I mean, lots of people have done it.  There are many who can boast how they ate & exercised their way to a body that is 100, 200, 300, 400 lbs lighter, WITHOUT SURGERY. 

I really wanna be one of those people and I know I can be. But what's the use of knowing but not doing.....knowing and not being?  I've been in this fight for almost 20 years and over time, I've gotten farther and father away from my goal....from the win.  Now, time is truly of the essence.  The stakes are higher for me now that I am dealing with the early stages of diabetes.  Yes,  my weight has finally caught up with me in a way that I cannot avoid.  I no longer have the 'luxury of time' being on my side.  I must do something about my weight OR ELSE.  

It makes me sad to admit that I haven't changed my habits much since my diagnosis.  Which brings me to my current state of mind.....to be a surgery candidate or not to be.  Deciding to have the surgery just might be more of a necessity than a personal choice....so I have to ask myself, what is more important.....my body/health or other people's opinions? 

Ignore It and It Will (NOT) Go Away!

I cannot believe it's been 10 days since my last blog post.  You can safely assume that part of the reason I haven't posted is because I don't have anything 'good' to share.  Since February 25th, I've been slacking off BIG TIME, with my eating & workout efforts.  With food & drink (aka 'cocktails'), some days, I do okay and others I do terribly.  The Y nor my trainer has seen me since February 18th and I feel.....okay.  Not 'okay' in the way that it's perfectly fine that I've fallen off the bandwagon, but okay in the way that I haven't bowed out.  I haven't lost any weight but, by golly, I haven't gained any weight either (thank God).  Mentally, I chastise myself every day, sometimes with food, sometimes without.  But, I have not 'beaten or eaten myself into depression mode' as I've done many times before.  I am determined to win this battle this time, so no matter how many times I sit, fall or get knocked down, I WILL get back up.  

HOW OLD ARE YOU?!

As I’ve mentioned before, I am often mistaken to be much (at least, 12-15 years) younger than my calendar age of 38 years, 2 months & 19 days.  I attribute it to my ‘baby face,’ soft voice and short height.  It’s funny though because, ever since I was a young girl, my close friends and family have teased me for ‘acting like an old lady.’  I’m often looked at as the mother figure, partly because I’m almost always the eldest (and most mature) one out of the crew and, admittedly, I’m bossy as hell….lol  When I’m with my sisters and friends, I feel like the ‘mother hen’ and behave like one, too (after all, SOMEbody has to keep order don’t they??).  So, it makes me feel good when people are shocked to learn that (a) I’m 38 years old, (b) I’m a mother of a 20 year old and, as of 1/10/11, (c) I’m a GRANDmother.  However, the reality is, my physical appearance is not in sync with the state of my physical health.

According to ‘THE REAL AGE TEST,’ which is a series of questions compiled by doctors and other health professionals, that measure how old your body ‘thinks’ you are, according to your health and self-care, I am 43.3 years old…..WTH?!  I’ve taken this kind of test, at least, 5 times in the last 10 years and every time, my ‘real age’ has been older than my calendar age.  I wish I could remember what the differences were, specifically, so I would have an idea of whether or not I’m closing the gap.  Overall, I feel better than I have in years past so hopefully, I am getting better.  In any case, today, my real age is 5 years older than my calendar age and I must swing that pendulum the other way so that my real age falls somewhere between 27-35…..which means I have work to do!   J

HOW OLD ARE YOU……REALLY???

Take the test and find out, then

I dare you to come back and share your results!

https://www.sharecare.com/static/realage-oz

Half-Assed!

It’s funny that I’m the one my loved ones come to when they want something ‘done right.’  They always compliment me on my creativity, organizational skills, determination, vast knowledge and generally pleasant disposition (well, that last one is up for debate…..lol).  HOWEVER, when it comes time for me to do something….anything….for myself, I half-step.  If you come to my house, you can see that I have a good eye for decorating.  I have a few nice pieces in every room in the house but very little effort has been put forth to complete the ensemble .  The vehicle that I drive is decent, but there’s always ‘stuff’ in it so that one has rarely seen it at its prettiest.  Not to mention, I bought it with a clearly flawed interior, knowing I should’ve & could’ve gotten a much better deal for my money (but that’s another story).  I get a lot of compliments on my fashion sense, yet I only ‘put on’ for ‘special occasions.’  I have nice things in my closet, but in general, I think my wardrobe kinda sucks.  It’s not because I can’t afford a better one, it’s because I don’t make it a priority to go out and get things I really want.  What does all this have to do with losing weight, you may be wondering?  Well, I’m approaching this weight-loss journey the same way I’ve approached most every other journey in my life that was for my own benefit……HALF-ASSED.

Altho, this week, I’ve done okay food-wise, I haven’t been to the gym since Friday.  Sure, I can convince myself that I have good reason (I was stressed, depressed, sleep-deprived) but the bottom line is, there is no excuse.  I didn’t go because I didn’t think it was that important (obviously).  I still have to remind/reassure myself that I am worth the effort.  I’m still questioning whether or not this time is gonna be the last time (aka permanently successful)?  I am still talking myself out of the good things in life.  I Am Still Listening To The Negative (excuse-making) Voice In My Head!   THIS. HAS. GOT. TO. STOP.  In order to cut this ass in half, I have to stop half-assing my efforts….PRAY FOR ME!

GO GIRL, GO GIRL, GO GIRL, GO GIRL.......

First of all, let me say, I forgave myself for Thursday's behavior. I knew that would happen because I haven't reached the 'Planning Ahead' stage. But, I will get there.....soon. In spite of that, I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!

I got home from work on yesterday and the excuse-making began, almost immediately. 'I'm too tired to go today,' I said to myself....'I'll make it up tomorrow.......I'll do a routine from TV later.' But, deep inside, I knew, if I didn't make it to the gym that evening, as scheduled, it would be the beginning of the end for me. So, until the minute I walked out of the door, my Old (excuse-making) Self battled with my New (determined-to-do-it-this-time) Self.....and I'm so glad the New Me won! I made it to the gym and started off on the treadmill, as I usually do. In my very first treadmill workout, my trainer wanted me to start walking at 2.2 miles per hour but I felt I could do more so I increased it to 2.5. The next two times, I walked at 2.7 mph. Last night, I started off at 2.7 but for the last 16 minutes, I walked at 3.0.....GO ME! After the treadmill, we went straight into weight training, where I felt not only my muscles building but my confidence too. When we got to the end of our workout, where we work strictly on Abs, Mr. Trainer decided we would do butterfly kicks AND '6 inches.' I was like, 'Whoa Mister!' I didn't complain too loudly but I did let him know I thought he was trippin. However, to my surprise, I got through each exercise....without having to stop during the set and with minimal 'shaking.' I couldn't believe it.

I felt so good about my workout and for making it to the gym when I really wanted to stay home and nap. I didn't want to mess up whatever progress I made so I decided not to hang out and spoil it with liquor and food. I spent Friday night at home and got a good night's sleep. I woke up this morning, feeling rested and refreshed. It's only the second week in and I'm already stronger. That is enough to keep me going........(shout out to self) GO GIRL!