FAMILY TIES.....

I come from a huge family (that consists of maternal, paternal and step- members) and share close relationships with a lot of my relatives.  I'm especially close to my 9 siblings plus a few extra sista-friends (sf).  So, naturally, there's always 'something going on' and 'somewhere we must to go.'  God forbid, one of us claims we can't attend....all hell will break loose!  You better be on your deathbed (or something of that caliber) to miss out on any event deemed 'mandatory' by the sisters/sfs.  So what, if you're trying to stop drinking, so what if you're trying to eat healthier, so what if you're trying to lose weight.  You had better be there.....or else!  And of course, there will be (unhealthy) food & (alcoholic) beverages served at these functions so if you don't have self-control, too damn bad for you.  This is especially unsettling because there really isn't much of a break between these 'mandatory celebrations/gatherings.' When I try to think of one whole month where there is no one's birthday, anniversary or other milestone to celebrate, I can't.  In addition to official celebrations, not a week goes by when there is no suggestion by one of my siblings/sf/me to 'get together, have some drinks and get our gab on.'  NOT ONE.  And every weekend must be commemorated by the consumption of alcohol and one of the following: wings/pizza/chinese food/fish fry or some other form of fast/junk food.

As this weekend begins, I just shake my head because I know what I'm getting ready to get myself into.  I've already received the invite from my Sis to 'bmob and show up at her house by 9pm tonight.'  Tomorrow, we'll be celebrating my aunt's birthday, where there will be gallons of alcohol and tons of food (and loads of fun).  Sunday will likely be a 'man-down' day as I am sure I will need at least 24 hours to recuperate from the weekend.  I'm looking forward to the great times that lie ahead but I shake my head at the fact that this weekend will not serve as a step towards my goal.  In fact, no day or weekend spent with my family (in celebration mode) will bring me closer to my goal. It will only hold me back. That being said, I may have to (temporarily) cut my family ties in order to gain control of my health and develop/sustain healthy habits.  And they (I) will not be happy about that.  PRAY FOR ME!

Half-Assed!

It’s funny that I’m the one my loved ones come to when they want something ‘done right.’  They always compliment me on my creativity, organizational skills, determination, vast knowledge and generally pleasant disposition (well, that last one is up for debate…..lol).  HOWEVER, when it comes time for me to do something….anything….for myself, I half-step.  If you come to my house, you can see that I have a good eye for decorating.  I have a few nice pieces in every room in the house but very little effort has been put forth to complete the ensemble .  The vehicle that I drive is decent, but there’s always ‘stuff’ in it so that one has rarely seen it at its prettiest.  Not to mention, I bought it with a clearly flawed interior, knowing I should’ve & could’ve gotten a much better deal for my money (but that’s another story).  I get a lot of compliments on my fashion sense, yet I only ‘put on’ for ‘special occasions.’  I have nice things in my closet, but in general, I think my wardrobe kinda sucks.  It’s not because I can’t afford a better one, it’s because I don’t make it a priority to go out and get things I really want.  What does all this have to do with losing weight, you may be wondering?  Well, I’m approaching this weight-loss journey the same way I’ve approached most every other journey in my life that was for my own benefit……HALF-ASSED.

Altho, this week, I’ve done okay food-wise, I haven’t been to the gym since Friday.  Sure, I can convince myself that I have good reason (I was stressed, depressed, sleep-deprived) but the bottom line is, there is no excuse.  I didn’t go because I didn’t think it was that important (obviously).  I still have to remind/reassure myself that I am worth the effort.  I’m still questioning whether or not this time is gonna be the last time (aka permanently successful)?  I am still talking myself out of the good things in life.  I Am Still Listening To The Negative (excuse-making) Voice In My Head!   THIS. HAS. GOT. TO. STOP.  In order to cut this ass in half, I have to stop half-assing my efforts….PRAY FOR ME!