Half-Assed!

It’s funny that I’m the one my loved ones come to when they want something ‘done right.’  They always compliment me on my creativity, organizational skills, determination, vast knowledge and generally pleasant disposition (well, that last one is up for debate…..lol).  HOWEVER, when it comes time for me to do something….anything….for myself, I half-step.  If you come to my house, you can see that I have a good eye for decorating.  I have a few nice pieces in every room in the house but very little effort has been put forth to complete the ensemble .  The vehicle that I drive is decent, but there’s always ‘stuff’ in it so that one has rarely seen it at its prettiest.  Not to mention, I bought it with a clearly flawed interior, knowing I should’ve & could’ve gotten a much better deal for my money (but that’s another story).  I get a lot of compliments on my fashion sense, yet I only ‘put on’ for ‘special occasions.’  I have nice things in my closet, but in general, I think my wardrobe kinda sucks.  It’s not because I can’t afford a better one, it’s because I don’t make it a priority to go out and get things I really want.  What does all this have to do with losing weight, you may be wondering?  Well, I’m approaching this weight-loss journey the same way I’ve approached most every other journey in my life that was for my own benefit……HALF-ASSED.

Altho, this week, I’ve done okay food-wise, I haven’t been to the gym since Friday.  Sure, I can convince myself that I have good reason (I was stressed, depressed, sleep-deprived) but the bottom line is, there is no excuse.  I didn’t go because I didn’t think it was that important (obviously).  I still have to remind/reassure myself that I am worth the effort.  I’m still questioning whether or not this time is gonna be the last time (aka permanently successful)?  I am still talking myself out of the good things in life.  I Am Still Listening To The Negative (excuse-making) Voice In My Head!   THIS. HAS. GOT. TO. STOP.  In order to cut this ass in half, I have to stop half-assing my efforts….PRAY FOR ME!

GO GIRL, GO GIRL, GO GIRL, GO GIRL.......

First of all, let me say, I forgave myself for Thursday's behavior. I knew that would happen because I haven't reached the 'Planning Ahead' stage. But, I will get there.....soon. In spite of that, I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!

I got home from work on yesterday and the excuse-making began, almost immediately. 'I'm too tired to go today,' I said to myself....'I'll make it up tomorrow.......I'll do a routine from TV later.' But, deep inside, I knew, if I didn't make it to the gym that evening, as scheduled, it would be the beginning of the end for me. So, until the minute I walked out of the door, my Old (excuse-making) Self battled with my New (determined-to-do-it-this-time) Self.....and I'm so glad the New Me won! I made it to the gym and started off on the treadmill, as I usually do. In my very first treadmill workout, my trainer wanted me to start walking at 2.2 miles per hour but I felt I could do more so I increased it to 2.5. The next two times, I walked at 2.7 mph. Last night, I started off at 2.7 but for the last 16 minutes, I walked at 3.0.....GO ME! After the treadmill, we went straight into weight training, where I felt not only my muscles building but my confidence too. When we got to the end of our workout, where we work strictly on Abs, Mr. Trainer decided we would do butterfly kicks AND '6 inches.' I was like, 'Whoa Mister!' I didn't complain too loudly but I did let him know I thought he was trippin. However, to my surprise, I got through each exercise....without having to stop during the set and with minimal 'shaking.' I couldn't believe it.

I felt so good about my workout and for making it to the gym when I really wanted to stay home and nap. I didn't want to mess up whatever progress I made so I decided not to hang out and spoil it with liquor and food. I spent Friday night at home and got a good night's sleep. I woke up this morning, feeling rested and refreshed. It's only the second week in and I'm already stronger. That is enough to keep me going........(shout out to self) GO GIRL!