Dear Aja Metoyer.....the shame is on you, deal with it!

Dear Aja Metoyer, 

Let me get this straight: you've been sleeping with someone else's man for an undetermined period of time, you've admitted to not only being his mistress but being totally & utterly disrespectful to his woman by telling her (in a letter to the world) how her man 'made you feel comfortable' on her side of the bed, you became pregnant by this man and gave birth to his son then took to social media to rant and rave about 'what the truth is' regarding your status as being 'more than just a baby mama.' Right?  Yeah...dead wrong.

  

Now, I know it's none of my business; you don't know me and I don't know you; in fact, I don't even know Dwyane Wade or Gabrielle Union (although she is my sister in my head). But, I have a right to my opinion. I love to give it, solicited or not, and since I have a platform to do so, on this here blog, I'm going to do exactly that. It bothers me that (women like) you feel compelled to shame another woman because you can't handle your own shame by yourself. I know not the dynamics, details or dirty secrets of the Wade/Union relationship but what I do know is that, despite his rendezvous with you (and whatever other women may be in his back pocket), Gabby is always front and center, standing strong. She is the woman he celebrates with (moments big or small), the woman he takes silly pics with and posts on social media for all the world to see, the woman he spends holidays with, shares his life with, the woman he trusts to be a parental figure to his children. Gabrielle Union is the woman he takes on trips around the world, who he proclaims and exclaims his deep love & affection for, the one he refers to as his beautiful black queen, the one he recently pledged to commit his lifelong love to....but YOU'RE MAD??

Despite your sad and pitiful efforts to soil her name and cause her shame, Gabrielle Union's dimples are still in full effect (read, she's still smiling). She is proudly wearing the ring her man gave her, just a month after you gave birth to your son. From the looks of things, they will be going forward with their marriage plans so you can stop now. Stop trying to make Gabby look stupid and stop making a fool of yourself. Don't you think you've done enough by exposing details of your affair with him, getting pregnant and bringing a child into this world under these circumstances? What is it that you hope to accomplish by continuing to throw dirt on the Wade/Union relationship? Sure, there will be those who will judge Gabby, think of her as 'stupid,' 'desperate,' 'money-hungry' or other unflattering things but guess what? That's not going to get you what you want: to be in her shoes. You telling the world how you were flown here & there, in secret, what amenities you enjoyed in Gabby's absence and how much more you mean to Dwyane than what a side piece usually does, is not going to change the fact that they are together. Your admission to willingly being the poison in another woman's love life is nothing to be proud of, honey. To make matters worse, you are a mother of two female children. Is this what you want them to learn about how a woman carries herself and conducts herself in the dating world? Probably not. So, maybe you should put the muzzle on now and focus on taking care of that baby boy and those two girls. Find a way to move on and get your own man to love. I think your 15 minutes are way over.......good luck to you!

P.S.

In no way is Dwyane Wade absolved of his responsibility in this matter. However, that is Gabrielle's business to handle, although I think she's been there and done that already. This letter/post is written to address the actions and unbecoming behavior of  one woman to another , specifically. 

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH

By now, I'm sure you've read many reviews online, heard feedback from friends and saw many a Facebook, Instagram or Twitter post so add this to that collection: THE BEST MAN HOLIDAY movie is a must-see! For those who don't know, The Best Man Holiday is the sequel to the movie, The Best Man. The first movie came out in 1999, starring the milk-chocolatey delectable Morris Chestnut, dark & handsome Taye Diggs, sexy & scintillating Nia Long, sassy & sophisticated Sanaa Lathan, deliciously mesmerizing Terrence Howard, fine & fabulous Regina Hall, prim & pretty Monica Calhoun, charmingly attractive Harold Perrineau and the bold & beautiful Melissa De Sousa. TBM is about a group of friends who met in college and get together years later, for the wedding between two of them. The groom's best man is his best friend who becomes his worst enemy. As things unfold, the friends try to prevent each other from being disappointed, hurt and even killed. In the days leading up to the wedding of the bride & groom, friendships are tested, relationships are ruined and life is turned upside down....but love does prevail.

In the sequel, TBMH, the entire cast returns, plus the sexy & talented Eddie Cibrian. The friends are back together for the holiday season, with new members of their families, news to share and old baggage to get rid of. This time around, life is different for all of them but they have no idea just how much things are about to change....again. No longer young and carefree, the friends are faced with difficult challenges to face, grown-up decisions to make and real life reflection to do. They learn that they can no longer afford to be careless, irresponsible, spineless, unaccountable, God-less or unattainable. They learn the true meaning of love, forgiveness, friendship and life. Together, they've been through a lot and although their bonds are tested again, together, they remain.

Both movies are full of humor, chaos and drama....lots of drama. You will laugh, you will cry, you will clap and you will want to throw your popcorn at the screen. In the end, you will relate to something or someone and even learn a lesson or two. So if you haven't already, go see The Best Man Holiday....but only if you've seen The Best Man first.

I know I'll watch both movies again....and again....and again!

REALLY (Black People)?!

People are all up in a tizzy because Julianne Hough (a white singer/dancer/actress) dressed up as 'Crazy Eyes' (a black character from the Netflix hit show, Orange Is The New Black) for Halloween, complete with a brown painted face. They are comparing it to a highly racist and negative practice that whites used, way back in the day (and some still do), as a form of entertainment.

Really, Black people?! These are two totally different things, in my opinion. She was dressing up for Halloween, for goodness' sake! She wasn't doing a minstrel show or trying to be funny or derogatory with her actions. I don't know her personally, but I'm assuming that she is a fan of the show (as I am and alot of people are) and thought 'Crazy Eyes' made for a good Halloween costume. According to reports, Julianne was not aware of the history of 'blackface' and she did not mean any disrespect towards the black community. Some have suggested that 'her people' should have known and should have warned her that dressing up as this character would not be a good idea or that she could have done the character without the brown face. I beg to differ. Halloween is a holiday on which people dress up as all sorts of people, characters, things, demons, goblins and monsters. It's a day where you get to be something/someone other than yourself, in the name of fun (for the most part). I see nothing wrong with Julianne being this character and choosing to go 'all the way' with her costume. Sure, she could have donned the orange jumpsuit, put her hair in (some semblance of) bantu knots and kept her own white face buuuutttt......(in my opinion) it comes across so much better with the brown face.

To each his/her own but I think, these days, people jump on any little thing and scream 'racist/racism!' Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some black person who doesn't believe we've come such a long way that racism is not an issue. Oh, it very much is. But what I don't like, and refuse to cosign, are things that are 1)minor sand particles built up into a mountain 2)innocent occurrences (such as this) that get misconstrued or turned into something it is not or ever intended to be 3)jumping on the 'It's racism!' bandwagon just because somebody said it was racism. How are we ever to make more and bigger strides towards less racism if, at every chance (big or small), we are screaming racism and brewing major media storms about small or nonexisent issues? If everything a non-black person does that however remotely looks like they are being insensitive, disrespectful or derogatory is fodder for a race rally, how can we ever get past it? As it's said, perception is reality so, while there are definitely racist folks around and racist practices going down, I think we need to adjust our mind's eye just a little bit. One of my favorite quotes is:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
_ mahatma ghandi

Choose your battles wisely and fight when it's necessary, but please people, please....stop the 'stinkin thinkin!' Besides, Julianne's face ain't black. Like Tamar Braxton said, she just looks like she has a tan.

p.s. Julianne, stop stealing people's ideas.....you knew I was planning to be 'Crazy Eyes' for Halloween (I really was, y'all)!