Dear Aja Metoyer.....the shame is on you, deal with it!

Dear Aja Metoyer, 

Let me get this straight: you've been sleeping with someone else's man for an undetermined period of time, you've admitted to not only being his mistress but being totally & utterly disrespectful to his woman by telling her (in a letter to the world) how her man 'made you feel comfortable' on her side of the bed, you became pregnant by this man and gave birth to his son then took to social media to rant and rave about 'what the truth is' regarding your status as being 'more than just a baby mama.' Right?  Yeah...dead wrong.

  

Now, I know it's none of my business; you don't know me and I don't know you; in fact, I don't even know Dwyane Wade or Gabrielle Union (although she is my sister in my head). But, I have a right to my opinion. I love to give it, solicited or not, and since I have a platform to do so, on this here blog, I'm going to do exactly that. It bothers me that (women like) you feel compelled to shame another woman because you can't handle your own shame by yourself. I know not the dynamics, details or dirty secrets of the Wade/Union relationship but what I do know is that, despite his rendezvous with you (and whatever other women may be in his back pocket), Gabby is always front and center, standing strong. She is the woman he celebrates with (moments big or small), the woman he takes silly pics with and posts on social media for all the world to see, the woman he spends holidays with, shares his life with, the woman he trusts to be a parental figure to his children. Gabrielle Union is the woman he takes on trips around the world, who he proclaims and exclaims his deep love & affection for, the one he refers to as his beautiful black queen, the one he recently pledged to commit his lifelong love to....but YOU'RE MAD??

Despite your sad and pitiful efforts to soil her name and cause her shame, Gabrielle Union's dimples are still in full effect (read, she's still smiling). She is proudly wearing the ring her man gave her, just a month after you gave birth to your son. From the looks of things, they will be going forward with their marriage plans so you can stop now. Stop trying to make Gabby look stupid and stop making a fool of yourself. Don't you think you've done enough by exposing details of your affair with him, getting pregnant and bringing a child into this world under these circumstances? What is it that you hope to accomplish by continuing to throw dirt on the Wade/Union relationship? Sure, there will be those who will judge Gabby, think of her as 'stupid,' 'desperate,' 'money-hungry' or other unflattering things but guess what? That's not going to get you what you want: to be in her shoes. You telling the world how you were flown here & there, in secret, what amenities you enjoyed in Gabby's absence and how much more you mean to Dwyane than what a side piece usually does, is not going to change the fact that they are together. Your admission to willingly being the poison in another woman's love life is nothing to be proud of, honey. To make matters worse, you are a mother of two female children. Is this what you want them to learn about how a woman carries herself and conducts herself in the dating world? Probably not. So, maybe you should put the muzzle on now and focus on taking care of that baby boy and those two girls. Find a way to move on and get your own man to love. I think your 15 minutes are way over.......good luck to you!

P.S.

In no way is Dwyane Wade absolved of his responsibility in this matter. However, that is Gabrielle's business to handle, although I think she's been there and done that already. This letter/post is written to address the actions and unbecoming behavior of  one woman to another , specifically. 

It's a Beyonce World!

I hear Bey's new album has got a few people's granny panties in a bunch. HMPH! Yes, some of her lyrics are raunchy, videos damn near soft porn but GUESS WHAT? Beyonce Giselle Knowles is a groooowwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn woman! Not only that, she's a young, sexy, married and madly-in-love grown woman. She's singing these songs to/about her husband and I am feeling every hum, growl and yeeeeeessssssssuuuuuhhhhhh! It seems, people think she has 'changed,' been 'turned out' or greatly influenced by her husband, rapper Shawn 'Jay Z' Carter but I beg to differ.

Beyonce was a young girl when she hit the music scene, so of course her music was tame. She came out in a group and did things a certain way. Eventually, she became a solo artist and started doing things a bit differently. Over the years, she has grown and shown the world different sides of herself. She grew up, she branched out, she matured, built up her self-confidence and became a woman. Although a part of her has always been a bit on the shy side, demonstrated by nervous laughter, smiles and girlish tone of voice; another part of her has always been bold and wild, demonstrated by her stage presence/performance, earlier videos and song lyrics. She has always been sensual and even sexual in her music and performances. It's just that, this time, she added a huge dose of raunch to it.... and the haters critics went wild! "Beyoncé is trying too hard! Beyoncé is trying to be hard! Jay-Z turned Beyoncé out! Bey is competing with Rhi! Why she gotta be so nasty! She's a mother, how dare she?! What does her mother think?! What will her father say?! Who does she think she is! Beyoncé has degraded herself.....she's no longer a lady....she has no class....blah blah and blahflippinblah!" Since when does becoming a parent render you sex-less? No fun? Boring? Plain? Vanilla? Why isn't she allowed to grow up, blossom, explore, experience and enjoy life on the next level? Chile please! But let me shut up.....Beyoncé can tell it best.......take a look/listen

A Letter to Chris Brown

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Chris,

 

I have been a fan of yours from the first day I saw your tall, lanky frame on my TV screen (‘Yooooooo, I don’t know your name but excuse me miss, I saw you from across the room, And I got to admit that you got my attention, You're making me want to say yooooooo’). Not only did your dancing have me captivated but your boyish good lucks and evident charm made me want to know more about this new, cute kid on the block. I’m old enough to be your mother so I wasn’t looking at you as a celebrity crush/love interest.  Well, maybe I was…..but for my daughter. I could tell, from the way you moved and the emotion you conveyed while singing your song, that you were a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Actually, you reminded me of a past, young love of mine who is tall, light-skinned, good-looking and on the ‘goofy’ side….though he has not one ounce of the rhythm in his body that you have in yours.  But, I digress…….. From the day I saw your first video, I knew you were going to be a star. I went out and purchased your CD and I listened to it all of the time. I think I knew all the songs & lyrics before my daughter did. I told all my friends about this new kid who was gonna do big things and I looked forward to watching your great career unfold…..and unfold it did.

 

For the next few years, you would not disappoint as you came out with hit after hit and wonderfully entertaining videos to go along with.  I never tired of watching your videos or hearing your songs. I began referring to you as my son-in-law and I longed for the day that my daughter (who was an aspiring model, at the time) would make it big, meet you, marry you, give me beautiful grandbabies and live happily ever after (a lady can dream, can’t she????).  Then, you hooked up with Rihanna and in my Scooby-Doo voice, I said, ‘Ruh Roh!’ Immediately, I didn’t think it was a good look.  No offense to you or Rhianna but I thought she was too much for you.  There you were, this innocent-looking, charming, silly young man making a name for himself in the music world and there she was a grown-looking, sexified young woman with much attitude making a name for herself in the music world.  In general, (they say) females mature faster than males so already, she had one up on you (I believed). Then, add the fast life and everything that comes with the kind of lives you both lead, (I imagine) requiring you to ‘grow up’ faster than you normally would have to and that gives her a few more steps ahead of you. Of course, this is all my own assessment of how things were. I wasn’t there and I have no idea how it is to live life in the spotlight so I am speaking strictly from a fan’s (and mother’s) point of view. I thought to myself, ‘this girl is gonna be T.r.o.u.b.l.e for Chris!’  I had no idea how much trouble it would be.

 

Seeing pictures of you two together and hearing stories about your young romance were bittersweet. It’s always nice to see people in love, especially that young love when everything is ‘innocent’ and brand-new.  At the same time, having been there and done that, it also makes one a bit sad knowing that, most likely, the young love will end on a not-so-good note and somebody (if not both parties) is going to end up hurting like hell. In your case, I always thought it would just be a matter of time before Rhianna would break your heart and leave you howling in the wind of her trail.  Never, in a million years, did I think your relationship with her would end like it did.

‘Grammy day was supposed to be a glittery affair for R&B's reigning ‘It’ couple, Chris Brown and Rihanna. But things went horribly amiss.  About the time Brown was scheduled to be singing "Forever" onstage at Los Angeles' Staples Center, he was instead detained by police, being questioned for allegedly roughing up Rihanna,’ was the report given by one media source.  When I heard this news, I didn’t believe it…..couldn’t believe….wouldn’t believe it.  ‘There’s gotta be more to the story,’ I thought….’What the hell did Rhianna do to my son?!’  I know a lot of people, men and women alike, won’t like that statement and probably think it’s very irresponsible (at the very least) of me to say something like that.  Am I crazy, out of my mind, an abused woman myself? No, no and hell no. Not for a second do I think what you were accused of doing is/was okay. Not for a second do I believe that Rhianna ‘deserved’ it. Not for a second do I believe that your behavior should have been excused. Not for a second do I believe that you didn’t deserve to be punished. Not for a second do I believe you are ‘a monster,’ as I’ve heard some people refer to you as. Not for a second do I believe your dream of being a singer/entertainer should be snatched from you forever. Not for a second do I believe you should continue to be questioned about, ridiculed or punished for what happened 3 years ago. Not for a second do I believe you would do it again.

As a woman and mother of a daughter, I know how our species can be. I wasn’t there, in the car with you and Rhianna and you never gave your side of the story (understandably for fear that people would take it as you trying to excuse or justify your behavior) but I have my own ideas about what I think happened. However it got started, I believe you both were pushed to the brink of your emotions and one thing led to another and unfortunately, things got out of control. You put your hands on Rhianna. You’re a big, strong young man so I’m sure you knew you could overpower her, beat her, if you wanted to. I don’t know why you didn’t (or couldn’t?) just restrain her to keep her from hitting you or doing whatever it was that she was doing to you. Why you didn’t just walk, or drive, away from her instead of smacking, punching or biting her is beyond my understanding. But, the point is, you didn’t walk away. You didn’t just restrain. You hit her. You were dead wrong. You were dead wrong and you knew your were, but I don’t think you thought she would call in the dogs on you. But she did….and you paid for what you did to her, big time…..and rightfully so.

It hurt me to hear everyone dog you out, on radio, TV, online. I felt like people were really talking about my son. I wanted to reach out to your mother, speak out for your mother and I wanted to pop you upside your damn head! I was so mad at you, Chris. Why, why, why, why, whyyyyyy did he do that, I wondered. But, the damage was done and the why really didn’t matter. In fact, there was no room for ‘why’ because there was no excuse for it…..period.  So you had to pay and boyyyy, did you pay! I felt so bad for you Chris but I knew this was a lesson you had to learn the hard way.  You had to be taught that violence, especially violence against women, will not (and should not) be tolerated. You had to learn to deal with your emotions in a less damaging, more productive way….more mature way. You had to realize that, as quickly as people can build you up, they can tear ya down. Chris, you had to learn to ‘man up.’  Your image was tainted, reputation ruined, pocket tapped, career frozen and your love was lost.  I was worried that you had been (Jah)Ruled out and wouldn’t be allowed to come back. I prayed that you would be…..and you were.

You came back on the scene and you came back like you meant business.  However, not everybody welcomed you back with open arms. Still today, three years after the crime and the consequence, some people don’t want to let you live (it down). Which is why I am writing this letter to you today. After your Grammy win and performance (which I loved, by the way), people were outraged that a ‘man who beat the sh*t out of a woman is celebrated.’ I got so upset after reading one bloggers post that tears sprang to my eyes. I was ready to fight! As a fan and as a mother, I just want people to let you live. I agree, you done wrong. But you paid your debt to society, in more ways than one and now it’s time for people to leave the past in the past. I do realize, though, that there will always be people who ‘hate Chris’ and I will likely have to continue to defend you against those who speak ill about you in my presence. However, despite the cold or lukewarm reception you receive by some, (in addition to me and my cougar friends….haha) you still have millions of die-hard fans who love you and want you to stay in the game. We need you to keep making good music, entertaining us with your great dance moves and gracing us with your good-looking presence.  But, most of all, Chris Brown, we need you to grow up. We need you to stop feeding into the negativity some people just seem bent on spewing your way. I know it’s easier said than done, but we need you to stop stooping to their level by sending out angry tweets and arrogant commentary.  Don’t give the negators (neh-guh-tors - yeah, I made that word up) satisfaction by reacting to their ugliness with ugliness. We need you to keep your head up and your ego down. The best way to honor yourself, your mother and the fans who have been loyal to you is to remain humble, keep giving us good music and do what the naysayers think you can’t do - sustain a successful, respectable career, non-violent lifestyle and eventually, a healthy, loving relationship with a woman (whenever that time comes). I know you can do it, Chris. Just keep your eyes on the prize and you will continue to win. In this case, winning IS everything! I will continue to pray for you. Keep on keeping on and, CBreezy, please don’t let me/us down.

Sincerely and with love,

BFly, a fan who cares