The Grand-ness of it All

When I became a mother, it was the most joyous experience of my life. My heart was filled to the brim with so much love, I didn't think it could hold another ounce. Then along came a lil diva and, I swear, God must've increased my heart's capacity. Since the day my granddaughter was born, she has been the butter to my toast, cream to my coffee, the sugar to my sweet. I often wondered how any other grandchild to come along would ever fit in our grand lil world. Then we received a beautiful bundle of boy. Big difference. New kid in town. Whole otha ball game. Boy vs. Girl. Brand New Heart Compartment. Love overflowing. No competition necessary.

I have the best of both worlds.

Delightful.

Happy.
Joyful.
Two hands full.
Blessings.
Wonderful additions.
Immeasurable pleasure.

Of course, life with/for them is sometimes stressful, frustrating and difficult, as well but my daughter can better attest to that aspect. When it comes to Gida (that's me), life with the grands is pure bliss. I'm not the kind of grandmother who takes the kids to church or sits in a rocking chair to read a story or bakes cookies, pies and cakes but I do schedule, spend and enjoy quality time with them. And I must admit, they are great little people to be around.

My oldest grandchild is an outgoing, talkative, busy, inquisitive, energetic, beautiful, intelligent, outspoken little girl who has personality for days. She loves to take pictures, of herself and others. She enjoys all the lil girly things, like nail polish and pretty clothes, yet she will get down in the dirt or climb the highest tree right along with the boys. She makes a friend wherever she goes and her 'claim to fame' is telling it like it is. She is known as our 'grandiva,' and at just five years old, she lives up to every letter of that name.

My grandson, aka the grandada, is 3 months shy of 2 years old and is quite the character, in his own right. He is the yin to his big sister's yang. Where she's loud & obnoxious, he's cool, calm & collected. Where she's sensitive and tender, he's strong and tough. She pushes him down, he gets back up.....and still worships the ground she walks on. In real life and play, she's the teacher and he's the attentive student; which has been a blessing and a curse. In trying to keep up with 'Sis' (as he calls her), he quickly learned to walk, talk and throw tantrums. He communicates well, with words and in sentences, asserts his independence regularly, commands and demands attention. He also loves the camera and knows how to take selfies, is quite skilled in basketball and is already a heartthrob.

It's truly amazing, how smart and insightful these two kids are. No, seriously. I'm really not just saying this because they are mine. Every time I am with them, I learn something new. Whenever I am around them, they remind me, or give me new reasons, why they are so awesome. Make no mistake, I'm not one of those grandparents who thinks every little thing they do is cute, wonderful and supercallifragilisticexpialidocious. I do redirect, correct and discipline them, when necessary. However, even in their brattiest moments, I think they are the best kids ever. From the start, being a grandparent has been a beautiful and incomparable experience. There really are no words to fully describe just how special grand-love is. I often tell people, "It's love on a whole 'nother level." The feelings I get when they exclaim my name or hug me ever-so-tightly or give me sweet, butterfly kisses are like sunbursts to my soul. One day, I learned, those sunbursts come through even when the grands are not around.

Perched upon my desk at work are two frames of the grandiva and grandada together; one photo of them in their holiday best and the other, their fashionable school flick. This particular day wasn't special or extraordinary; nor was it the first time I looked at (those particular) pictures of my grandchildren. I just happened to glance that way and, once they caught my attention, I lingered for a moment and smiled. Then, suddenly, I felt a lump in my throat and tears began to sting my eyes. There was a swirling in my chest and I thought, 'What the hell is going on here?!' I was overwhelmed with emotion. I literally had to talk myself out of crying. Once the moment passed, I laughed and shook my head at myself for being such a sap.

It was in that moment I realized, with that kind of joy in my world, life surely is grand!

FLASHBACK POST: IT’S OFFICIAL!

This is an excerpt from my short-lived Facebook mini-blog, The Musings of a G’va: documenting & discussing the ups & downs, ins & outs and rounds & rounds of becoming a 'premature' grandmother, written on June 29, 2010

I just came from my daughter’s first prenatal doctor appointment and my belly is so abuzz with excitement that I can’t finish my lunch (and believe me, I was HUNGRY since before we got to the appointment). All day, I was looking forward to the appointment (after getting a last minute ‘welcoming to accompany’ from her last night) but I can't say I was excited about it. I was more curious to know how far along she was and when I could expect my life to change indefinitely and immeasurably.

When I first heard my daughter was pregnant, I was on fire! ‘Why would she do something so stupid, so careless, so irresponsible, so disappointing?!’ Why would she do this to herself?! Why would she do this to meeeeeeeeeee?!’ I heard the  news from someone else and didn’t want to ask my daughter for fear of the confirmation but, I knew I’d have to face it sooner or later. I preferred sooner. So I asked. She denied it but I knew she was lying. Ultimately, she confessed and my fate had been sealed. I had my moments of inner rage but was eventually able to make peace with the fact that I was going to become a grandmother before my 40th birthday. In doing so, I had to reflect back on my own experience.........

I remembered how it felt when I was ‘lost in love’ and became pregnant with my daughter; nobody could tell me a damn thing. My mother was greatly disappointed in me, being pregnant with a child at the age of 16 with 2 years of high school left to complete, but she never made me feel bad about it. She was there for me, every step of the way. So, I decided I would be my daughter’s ‘soft place to fall.’ She is, after all, almost 20 years old with two years of college under her belt. Who am I to put her down or make her feel ‘less than.’ At the same time, I didn’t want to appear to be too happy about the situation because, well.....I wasn’t. I wanted more for my child. My expectations were different. But she can’t live her life for me and I can’t live her life for her. So, I decided to be supportive and understanding, because, after all, this mother’s love is unconditional. But that was it; understanding and supportive was all I planned to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Until I sat in the chair next to my daughter’s bedside and watched the ultrasound technician do her thing………….

'Nurse Nancy' applied the gel to the ultrasound probe, adjusted my daughter’s clothing and placed the probe onto my daughter’s belly. After just a few seconds, I saw the clear ultrasound image of my grandbaby on the monitor, and I felt something change inside of me. I wanted to clap my hands and shout out with glee. But, I did neither.I kept my composure and stayed in my seat, but I smiled harder than I’ve smiled in a long time. My heart smiled too. I watched my daughter as she saw the image of her baby and I could see her ‘mother light’ flicker on. Her face brightened, her eyes lit up and she let out a little chuckle. Right then, I knew, everything would be okay and I was glad my daughter allowed me to share that special moment with her.

What's In A Name?

Becoming a grandparent at a young age (under 50) is very different from becoming one at a more mature age (60+). Not only physically but, your lifestyle is probably more suitable for grandparenthood at 60 than at 30- or 40-something. What about ages 50-59, you may be wondering? Well, I think that's an in-between stage where one may not expect but would welcome a little bundle of grandjoy with wide open arms. At any age, preparing for 'Grand' status includes coming up with a name you'd like to be called by your grandchildren. This process is more complex when you have to do this during a time you still consider yourself to be part of a young crowd (notice, I didn't say, 'the' young crowd). You don't want to deny your 'grand' status; at the same time, being called Grandma/Grandpa don't seem to fit and are usually out.of.the.question.

As a 37 year old (who is often thought to be a 20-something year old), with a very active social life, I knew I had to come up with something different and fly. Something that was not only grand but special to just us. It was difficult to do, but I finally came up with two names I thought were fitting:'G'va' (short for Grand Diva, pronounced Jee-va) or 'Gammi' (a remix of my nickname, which is 'Sammi'). When the grandiva (aka granddaughter) began to say Mommy, Daddy and other words, I attempted to teach her to call me 'G'va' then 'Gammi' But, for some reason, she would never say either one. Then one day, she called me 'Gida' (like Reeda with a hard 'G'). I looked at my daughter and asked, 'What did she say??' The grandiva said it again and proceeded to ask me for something (I forget exactly what else she was trying to say). Then it clicked that she was calling me 'Gida.' My daughter and I were like, 'Huh? Where in the world did she get that frommmmm???' We had no clue how she came up with that name, but, from that day on, she called me 'Gida.' So, I said, 'Hey, I'll take it (as if I really had a choice)!'

One day, I decided to look it up on the internet to see if it was really a word or name that, perhaps, means something in another language. So I googled it....and could not believe what I found. GIDA: a Zulu name for girls, meaning 'to dance & rejoice' (I'm not known for dancing but I got a few cute moves and I love to rejoice & celebrate). The definition goes on to say,GIDA’s potential involves questing a destiny along a variety of paths that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen and composers. GIDA also has the destiny to sell herself or sell just about any product that comes along. GIDA is imaginative in her presentation and may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. GIDA is an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. GIDA is friendly, loving and social. People like GIDA because she is charming and such a good conversationalist. Her ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is her role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around her.

GIDA wants to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by self or with subordinates. GIDA takes pride in her abilities and wants to be recognized for them. GIDA may seek opportunities to display her strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In her desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, GIDA may often leave the details to others. Ambitious and determined, GIDA is a leader seeking opportunities and possesses a great deal of honesty and loyalty. GIDA is very attainment oriented and driven to success. GIDA is a loyal friend and strictly fair in her business dealings.


If you know me, you'll agree that this describes me to a 'T.' If you don't know me, just....take my word for it. GIDA is definitely me. I don't know who/what put this name in the mind & mouth of my grandiva, at the age of just 18 months old, but it is perfect....and exactly what I wanted. It's different, unique and special to just us. I love the sound of it, the meaning of it and most of all, I love that she came up with it on her own. It not only holds sentimental value but to me, it is also spiritual in nature because it speaks to the very person that I am. What's in a name? Individuality, beauty, significance and love. GIDA. Like the perfect dress, the name suits me and fits me like a glove.

Sunshine After The Rain....

Life has been pretty gloomy since April 26; the day my heart was irreparably broken by my baby brother’s suicide. Every day is a struggle…..yet it’s also a blessing. It hurts to know that my brother is gone but I am glad that I still have my life, other relatives and friends. Despite the pain, my family and I have been able to find ways to inject some fun, joy and laughter into our daily existences. One blessing we have all enjoyed is the gift of my granddaughter……A’shari, the gran’diva. Not only does she represent life, hope and future for us, but her personality is like a contagious sunburst.

A’shari is inquisitive, intelligent, independent and inviting. She’s quick on her tiny lil’ feet and her pretty miniature hands are fast & sometimes furious (she’s always pulling my hair or my earrings). At just 17 months old (yes, you have to include months, but that is a whole ‘nother post), she poses for pictures without trying to. She has no idea what ‘strike a pose’ means……but she does it every time. She’s a natural (check out her album if you’re a FB friend of mine).

Although A’shari’s vocabulary is very limited, she can ask for what she wants using words……some are spoken in English, others are spoken in Shar’glish. She’s such a girl…..but a tough girl. She loves to bathe and play with her dolls yet she favors her male cousins over the females; she will rumble & tumble with the boys and get right back up without a tear in sight. She loves to dance and she loves music; she actually has a few signature moves and can sing some words from her favorite songs. She’s got a liking for Strawberry Shortcake (‘CakeCake’) but Barney (‘Bodney’) is her boy. She likes what she sees in the mirror and in pictures; she always gives herself kisses & hugs in the mirror and when she sees a photo of herself within her reach, she will carry it around to show it off and kiss it constantly. I can say so much more about my precious gran’diva but I’ll keep it short & sweet. A’shari truly is a wonderful little girl who makes life more enjoyable just by being in it. The past six weeks have been quite stormy for me and my family, but she is our sunshine after the rain……….

Thank God for rainbows and little girls.