The Name Game

As we all know by now, Kim Kardashian and her now-fiancé(?) Kanye West welcomed their baby girl into the world on June 15, 2013. After hearing the news that the baby was born and healthy (yes, I think people really do care about that part), the first thing people wanted to know was, 'What is her name????' Initial reports informed us that the baby West was named Kaidence. 'Ohhhhhhhhhhhh,' I thought, 'that's cute. Not really what I was expecting but...I like it' (as if my opinion really mattered). Subsequently, a report was made that the baby's actual name was North. North West. 'Hell nawww,' I thought, 'they wouldn't do that to their baby girl. Please tell me it isn't so!' Welp. They did do that and it is very much so. WHAT THE HELL?!

TRUE, she is their baby and they can name their child what they want. But Kim.....Ye....really? I heard they have a good explanation (as if they really need to provide one) for the name; north is where they aim/hope for their relationship to go, nothing can be north of north and baby girl West 'represents a kind of north star' for the couple. Alllllrighty then. I feel y'all, but....still. I mean, I've toyed with having 'North Star' as my pen name but I don't think I would want anyone to address me as 'North.' And I don't think Lil Miss North West will want to be, either. She will have enough to deal with, having Kanye as her bigmouthdisrespectfulass-but-smartashellandIlovehimforKim father, Kim as her famousfornoreason-but-fabulousashellandIloveher mother and Kris as her crazyoverprotectiveintrusive-but-abossbitchaboutherbidnessandIloveher grandmother. Lil Miss West will have to pepper-spray the haters away, just for being fabulous by birth, being of mixed race in a crazy, mixed up world and being shouldbeagainstthelaw gorgeous (nooooo, I haven't seen her but I just know that girl is beeyooooooootahfull!). But, there's nothing she can do about that name (now). And for that, Kim and Kanye, I want you to know, you are selfish; as most parents are, when it comes to naming (amongst other things they do to/for) their children.

Think about it for a minute. If you're a parent, reflect on the reasons you had for giving your child the name you gave. Did you name him after his Daddy (and his daddy and his daddy and his..)? Is her middle name a combination of your best friends' names? Did you just make something up while watching your favorite TV show or in honor of your favorite snack or (God forbid) alcoholic beverage? How many times do parents give their child a name that is reflective of what they see in the child (you know how some people just look like a Jamel or a Catherine?) or hope for, for their child's future (do you think Barack's mother knew her son would need a strong, sexy name for his future position as a strong, sexy POTUS?)? I can't think of any that I know personally. Parents are often accused of trying to live through their children or force their beliefs and practices onto their kid.....and naming them something that has absolutely nothing to do with the child is where this mess begins. Listen, I am guilty so I am not pointing fingers. I'm simply making an observation. My daughter's name is a combination of her father's nickname and the first three letters of her 2 grandmothers' first names (both are 'Mar'). It wasn't my first choice but I will admit, it is better than what I had in (my immature 17 year-old) mind. Of course, after reppin it for almost 23 years, she has 'grown into' her name so it fits her. But, if I had to do all over, I'd put more thought into it and probably name her something sophisticated & mature, like 'Madison' or sassy and classy, like 'Chanel.'

If they wanted my opinion, I would recommend that parents-to-be think more about their child's feelings, individuality and future when deciding what to name them. We are temporary bosses over our kids' lives and sooner than later, they branch off and lead their own lives in their own way; so I think it's only right that they have a name that is more about them not their parents or anyone/thing else. But hey, that's just me.

SUNDAYS with BFly.......

In two days, my gran'diva will turn One Year Old.....wow.  I know it's cliche, but it really does seem like just yesterday that I was ready to wring my daughter's neck and drop her narrow behind between the slits in a sewer cover for getting pregnant at such an inappopriate, unplanned for and totally not-ready-for time.  Ooh, I could've killed that girl! I digress......anyway, obviously, I got over it and from the moment I laid eyes on the gran'diva, in the womb (via ultrasound), I was in love. 

A'shari Q. A. Cooper is one delightful little girl with whom I plan to make great memories, spend tons of money, energy and time and just love, love, love until I can't love no mo'!  Having her in our lives has changed our circumstances drastically......but more for the better than not.  Watching my daughter grow and mature in ways she probably wouldn't have otherwise, at this age is both sobering and refreshing.  I'm convinced that A'shari aka Shar Star aka the gran'diva aka....okay, I'll stop now (hahaha)....was given to us for a few reasons: ONE, to motivate her mother to, not only hold fast to her goals & dreams but to put in that work to make them happen; TWO, to inspire her 89 year old great-great grandmother (my beloved grandma) to get up every morning and continue to live, laugh and love. The two of them together are like old friends....they each light up the other's life with their mere presence; and THREE, to remind her G'ammi (that's me) what pure, unconditional love is all about, to invigorate my spirit and push me to live life on the next level.

I remember being a pregnant teen and vowing to myself that I would not drop out of school (like my mother and alot of people predicted or thought I would) and I would not become a statistic.  Yes, I would have a baby and have to repeat the 11th grade but, by golly, I will walk across that stage with my head held high, if it's the last thing I do......and I did.  After graduating high school, I remember feeling like, 'I can't stop, won't stop.' Sure, I lost a scholarship due to my year late graduation but there were other schools I could apply to.  So, I did.....and I went on to college, leaving my 3 year old daughter at home and a relationship that I desperately wanted but knew was falling apart.  All through my college years (took me 6 years to complete my bachelor's degree), I struggled with trying to make that relationship work, take care of my daughter and earn my degree.  The one thing that kept me going was wanting to be better and do better for my child.

As did her mother, my gran'diva inspires me to stay strong in the game.  Her smile and laughter keep my spirits high, her growth and discovery make me want to learn and experience more....even her tears give me strength, as they remind me that continued patience is a virtue (cause that big mouth of hers sure can inspire one to lose their mind....lol) and communication is key.  She is a wonder to behold and for that, I can now let go of the plans & dreams I had for my daughter yesterday and give all praises due today, for the wonderful blessing of my granddaughter.   

Who or what uplifts your spirit and inspires you to be better?