Since my last post, I made a decision to begin the process for weight-loss surgery ('WLS'). I've tried all kinds of diets and I've tried to manage this myself. Nothing has worked. So I put down my pride and picked up some information regarding 'WLS.' There are many options available.....gastric bypass, gastric sleeve, gastric banding and more. The decision is mostly up to the patient but there are recommended procedures for people of a certain weight and/or health condition. Although I've yet to get my recommendation from the doctor, I've decided I want the Lap-Band surgery. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, the short of it is: a surgical band is placed around the opening of the stomach to make the opening and the stomach itself much smaller than normal size. This restricts the amount of food that can pass through and be held in the stomach. After surgery, the stomach is said to hold (approximately) the equivalent of 2 oz. of food. TWO OUNCES Y'ALL! However, the band can be adjusted to make the opening bigger or smaller, according to weight-loss goals and health needs. Click on this link to learn more - http://www.lapband.com/en/learn_about_lapband/device_how_it_works/
Before one can be scheduled for surgery, there are a series of medical and psychological evaluations to undertake. You cannot have the surgery if it will likely endanger your life or you aren't mentally ready. No doctor is going to do the surgery 'just so your boyfriend won't leave you' or 'to help you snag a woman.' The pre-surgery process usually takes anywhere between 3 - 6 mos but can take much longer, depending on your specific medical history and how well you follow instructions. Since my official start on August 9, I've taken 4 of my 17 required steps. I would like to be able to schedule surgery for late January but, at the rate I'm going (verrrryyyy slowwww), I don't know if it's gonna happen then......if it happens at all. 'What do you mean, if it happens at all?!' you're probably wondering.
Well, during the orientation phase, we learned about the different WLS options available, amongst other things like healthy eating and exercising. We were also told (more than a few times) that the goal isn't to get surgery. Instead, the goal is to teach one how to take control of their health; recognize what went wrong and make choices to make things right.....without surgery. However, it is also acknowledged that, if it was just that simple, there would be no need for the orientation or the surgery. That being said, I'm hoping fooling myself into thinking that I can finally get a hold of things and do this on my own so I won't need the surgery. HA! Who knows? Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
In the meantime, in sticking with the plan (within the next 6 weeks), I need to schedule appointments for my Sleep Apnea evaluation review, with the Nutritionist & Dietician and my primary care doctor. Hell, I'm gonna lose 25 lbs just from the change I'll have to dish out in co-pays.........Oh My!
For a long time, (I know) my friends & family have wanted me to lose weight. I'm sure some of them have prayed, on many occasions, to the 'fat-blasting gods' to come and take this fat away. I can tell, by some of the looks I get and, the looks I don't get, that they wish I would take this fat suit off already. But no one has wanted it more than I have. 'You didn't REALLY want it,' is probably what you're saying inside your head. But, really, I did...and I do. For anyone who has had to lose more than 20 lbs., let alone my goal of 100, they know losing weight is just as much, if not more than, a mental battle as it is a physical fight. Physically, I know what to do and I am very capable of doing it. Once I get moving, it's on. Mentally, however, it has been a constant struggle. The main thing I've learned in my 17 plus years of battling the bulge is that I can't do this for anyone else and a quick-fix ain't the way. Dropping the pounds to gain the love, adoration, attraction, attention and affection from a man or woman is not a sustainable reason. That kind of weight loss lasts about as long as a May-December romance, if that. Taking the weight off by drinking shakes, taking pills or by way of a starvation diet is only a set up for a big ass 'F.' So, I'm happy to say that I am approaching this round with only weapons of healthy eating and exercising (with the assistance of a personal trainer) and I'm in it to win it for ME......starting today.
For the past three weeks, I've been keeping a food diary of (almost) everything I eat, on a daily basis. I don't have any weird cravings or unique tastes but I do have two very bad habits: eating out and eating late. So, those are the 2 things I'm working on changing in the next 3 weeks. Along with that, today is the first day of my 12-week exercise program. I've been talking to myself all day, chasing away that 'excuse-demon' who lives inside my head. Today marks the beginning of the end of the 'pretty fat caterpillar'..... this black butterfly is ready to spread her wings and soar.......................
Alas, my journey has begun!
